“Dreams From My Real Father” — A Review/Drinking Game

What deep symbolism could that hammer and sickle hold?

Some of you may have received this handsomely-packaged DVD in your PO Boxes yesterday, and if you did, and haven’t already thrown it out, I strongly suggest you sit down with some popcorn tonight and watch it (I was lucky enough to get two copies in my box, so if you’d like a loaner copy, just let The Thrill know).

It’s vital that all of us liberal college students who have been brainwashed by the Obama campaign learn the truth: that (spoiler alert!) the president is actually the son of a Communist agent, and this whole “my dad was a student from Kenya studying in the U.S.” thing is a ruse designed to trick people into thinking Barack Obama is a real American. (Because saying you were born in Hawaii to a white woman and a Kenyan man who quickly disappeared from your life and then moving to Indonesia is a surefire way to make sure no one becomes suspicious about your true origins or birthplace.)

But actually, despite being batshit crazy, the 95-minute movie is worth watching just for the comic value. The “plot” is that President Obama, heard in voiceover, decides to come clean and explain to America the truth behind his nefarious motives and his plot to bring down America. To me,this actually makes him seem like a pretty nice guy: at least he’s honest, right? The film also manages to torpedo one of the radical right’s favorite claims, that Obama wasn’t born in America, by theorizing that, yes, he was born in Hawaii…just not in the way he said he was. Ooh, scary: he is a natural-born citizen, but his father is an American Communist black man instead of a Kenyan anti-colonialist black man.

To make it even better, here are a few suggested rules for a drinking game that will make it even more fun. As is always the case when getting drunk and making fun of paranoid Tea Party propaganda, please drink responsibly.

• Drink when you realize you could do a better Barack Obama impression than the obviously white voiceover actor.
• Drink whenever you see stock footage of Marx/Lenin/labor organizers.
• Drink whenever you see stock footage of upset-looking white people fron the ’50s (such as when Obama’s mother, Ann Dunham, tells her dad she’s pregnant).
• Drink when the film tries to convince you that Barack Obama is Frank Marshall Davis’ son based on the shocking physical similarities between the two: they are both black men with eyes and noses who show their teeth when they engage in a behavior known as “smiling.”
• Drink when the film tries to convince you that the woman in a series of old nude photos is Barack Obama’s mother, based on the shocking physical similarities between the two: they are both young white women with eyebrows.
• Drink when the film proves the relationship between Ann Dunham and Davis by showing a document he once wrote to a woman named “Anne,” with an E.
• Drink at racism.
• Finish off the rest of the alcohol when you lose whatever remains of your faith in American democracy.