Bringing Up (Shakespeare) Baby
The 2012-2013 academic year has seen a proliferation of babies on campus. First, Alicia Dugas’ triplets and the mysterious “Baby Baby” graffiti. Then, the discovery of the Mather baby. Recently, a new flock of babies has emerged. The English department has given 24 students, mostly juniors and seniors, their own Shakespeare babies.
You’ve seen these student parents walking around campus, backpacks slung over shoulders, smiles wide and proud, and arms cradling a red Norton Shakespeare book.
All 24 students are all enrolled in Professor of English Sergei Lobanov-Rostovsky’s Shakespeare class. Not only are these students required to complete their academic course work, they must also provide the necessary care for their literary infants. And the Shakespeare babies require constant attention. Like most infants, they get fussy when confined to backpacks or shoved under Peirce tables. As any of Sergei’s Shakespeare student could tell you, the babies must be held at all times.
Forced to haul their babes in arms for full academic days, the Shakespeare babies’ surprising heft has whipped their English student parents into shape. As many a new parent could tell you, there’s no need to go the KAC when you’re toning your biceps with a baby.
Though a weighty responsibility, the Shakespeare babies are perfect library companions. Quiet and friendly by nature, they’re always willing to have their spines tickled and pages flipped.
Say hello the next time you see one in its parent’s arms! Also maybe ask if you can help carry their coffee or backpack.



Sorry to nitpick, but those are Norton Shakespeares not Riverside. Riverside Shakespeare babies are much larger
Those fucking malnourished Nortons, man.
Fixed and thank you.
Those are some fugly babies
Every child is beautiful in God’s eyes.
+1
touche
too bad you used “it’s” instead of “its”
+1 for me