Overheard at Kenyon, Vol. VI

Hey readers and of course, welcome to any family members who might be reading this. Please enjoy this roundup of your sons’ and daughters’ shiniest pearls of overheard wisdom. Here at The Thrill, we eavesdrop because we care. As for our readers, if you happen to recognize your own choice words somewhere in here … sorry.  Feel free to deny it vigorously to your parents.

Disbelieving Daughter in WiggleGround, reading aloud: “And the email ends, ‘In the meantime, don’t rely only on condoms. You will get pregnant. Xoxoxo, Mommy.’”

Flannel-Clad Dude at Peirce Coffee Station: “All the pseudo-lesbians want to borrow my shirts.”

Click through for more!

Future Recluse in Caples: “I can’t wait to get old. I’m just gonna grow tomatoes and not make eye contact with anyone.”

Sulky Girl on Ascension Couch: “And then he told me I looked like a hot mess.”

• Chipper Friend: “At least he said you’re hot!”
• Sulky Girl: “Oh my God, calling me a hot mess is not the same thing as calling me hot.”

5 minutes later, as the two are leaving:

• Chipper Friend: “I’m telling you, he thinks you’re hot shit!”

Confused Gal outside Weaver, mid-Kokes afterparty: “How do you attract these weirdos? When you dance, are you doing some kind of strange mating ritual?”

Concerned Guy at Olin Computer Corner: “Do you think it’s a problem that I used a hashtag in the title of my paper?” [Ed.: Dear Lord.]

Insightful Political Analyst in Crozier, commenting on VP debate: ”So many words.”

Enthusiastic First Year, looking up from Anth reading: “Native Americans are the shit. They need to be in popular culture more.”