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Kenyon Konfusion: Theme Parties You’ve Been Confused By

December 18, 2013

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We’re here to say it’s okay. It happens to everybody. Your mom still loves you. But really, it’s okay to be confused by a theme party. It’s probably happened to every Kenyon student (well, probably not every Kenyon studen). You know, when you accidentally whipped out a costume for a party that wasn’t actually a costume party. Or maybe you just misunderstood the concept of ABC parties. Hey–we’re glad you’re comfortable with your birthday suit–don’t let anybody tell you differently. What we’re trying to relay here is that we feel your pain. Kenyon students are occasionally overly ambitious with their party themes–we know.  So here we’ve rolled out a list of all-campus theme parties that may be in need of clarification (or not).

Deb Ball. Getting your tux ready for action tonight? Hold up there Rhett Butler. This is debunot a real ball. Ladies, put your corsets back in the closet until Shock Your Mom. Or perhaps you still haven’t found your inner southern bell and had a more economical idea of what this party would be. Having only heard your super cool friends knowingly name drop about the weekend, you mistakenly thought it was called “debt” ball. Debt ball? That  doesn’t sound like much of a rager. Whoops.

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Stash Bash. Unaware of the contemporary mustache fetish, you just assumed this was a Kenyon quirk kind of party. You know, run in, grab the alcohol, put it under your coat, and run away. Very logical.

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Shock Your Mom. Public service announcement: this, in fact, is not a “party” in which you drop a hairdryer into your mother’s bathtub. Nor does it involve tasers, lightening, or costumes that resemble electrical outlets. Apologies in advance to the BDSM crowd.

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Highlighter Party. Get high and bring lighters? Hold lighters high in the air? If you misinterpreted this theme, you may want to check your drug habits.

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Summer Sendoff. What? Send what off? I ALREADY DID MY COURSE EVALUATIONS! No? We’re sending off for the summer? WHERE IS THE BOAT? WHERE IS THE BOAT? HOW CAN I SEND OFF WITHOUT A BOAT. Holy hell.

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