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Ask A Junior Who Just Came Back From Abroad

April 23, 2014

when i was abroad pic

Dear Junior Who Just Came Back From Abroad,

The rape scene in the most recent episode of Game of Thrones really gets my goat. As an avid reader of the original George R. R. Martin books, I know that the scene depicted was not canon. While in the original text, Cersei is at first cautious but then very enthusiastically consents, on screen she is resiliently against Jaime’s advances the whole way through. Not only does this open up a bigger issue about the withdrawal and validity of consent, but also how victims are portrayed in the media. Is this incident going to be brushed away simply because Cersei is a “baddie”? (Although, who among us can really say who is bad and good in this world? All the characters have valid motivations for their actions, even if they do end up conflicting — oh, I’m getting away from the point).

From,

Worried in Westeros

Dear Worried in Westeros,

Wow. It is so great to be back. Although, in a way, it kind of feels like I’m meeting you all again for the first time. Does that sound stupid? Maybe a better way of putting it is: it feels like you’re all meeting me for the first time. I feel like the “me” of last year was somewhat fetal. You know? I think it’s a little naive to in any way call yourself a “person” if you haven’t actually experienced “life.” It was Arturo, a Venetian man who exposed himself to me on a ferry, who taught me that. We actually ended up becoming great friends. Here, I’ll get out my polaroids.


Dear Junior Who Just Came Back From Abroad,

Fine, I’ll be the one to say it. I just don’t get this whole cat trend. I’ve always been more of a reptile person myself, but even so, I think I have a good enough head on my shoulders to know when it’s time to call bullshit. Half the people who claim to be “Crazy Cat Ladies” don’t even own one, and I get that Grumpy Cat is a “thing” now, but it’s mildly amusing at best. What happened to just liking something? First, it was cool to hate things. Now, it’s like if you’re not going to conventions and taking selfies with it, you’re not worthy of even saying the word. Where’s the middle ground in this culture?

From,

Just Cat Get Enough

Dear Just Cat Get Enough,

What is this we’re drinking? Hm? Fr-an-zee-ah? Oohh, right. Sorry, haha! It’s just the last time I was drinking a red it came from a vineyard just 200 meters up the street. Oh, sorry, “meters” is a form of measurement that’s used in Europe, and honestly, really most other places besides the U.S. I don’t want to bring this party down, but, having traveled pretty extensively these past three months, I think I can confidently say that the the state of our country is abysmal. I was walking in Rome — sorry, could you hold this? I was walking in Rome and I saw this woman, crouched by a water spigot, suckling an infant in one hand and trying to clean her older child with another. There were only a few quarters in my coin purse, so I gave them to her, and with the exchange rate I’m sure that’s going to translate into something that could really get her back on her feet. And I remember thinking, say what you will about the distribution of wealth in these countries, at least they have a cohesive metric system! Oh well. It doesn’t matter. I’m sure that this Sunset Blush will taste fine.


Dear Junior Who Just Came Back From Abroad,

I am absolutely Team Hillary for the 2016 presidential race. I feel like I’ve seen it all when it comes to women’s issues in this country. I was following the Wendy Davis filibuster, I personally wrote a letter to Rush Limbaugh after the Sandra Fluke comments he made, and where to begin with Romney! The way women are treated in 2014 is baffling, and I do whatever I can to be vocal about it. I guess I’m just worried that, instead of being a rallying force, she’ll end up splitting the vote between reasonable, progressive citizens and people who, despite whatever platforms they agree on, will let their base and unspoken sexism overwhelm them, and will turn to more comfortable, familiar faces. America already proved it could be colorblind, but now can it be genderblind??

From,

Petrified by the Patriarchy

Dear Petrified by the Patriarchy,

Could I ask what time it is? 10:16? Sorry, I’m not — oh! You mean 22:16. Wow, it’s almost dinner time! I know you’re probably not on my meal schedule. I’ve been meaning to tweet Peirce about its restrictive dinner hours. No reasonable human eats dinner before seven! Not that you guys aren’t reasonable, no no no. You just haven’t had the chance to acclimate to the European palate. That’s why I’m glad I came back. Yes, for a while Arturo and I were planning on extending my trip so we could go hike the Pyrenees. We were going to bring nothing but our bodies, a loaf a bread and a 5×5 silk shawl that I picked up at a Parisian flea market, and just be among the clouds and nature, but the U.S. Embassy didn’t think “sexual and spiritual awakening” a valid enough reason for extending my visa, no matter how many times or how loudly I tried to demonstrate. That’s another thing I’ve been meaning to show you guys. It is technically masturbation, but you reach a level of clarity that I don’t think can really be labeled. Everybody take off your shoes.

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12 Comments leave one →
  1. Anonymous permalink
    April 23, 2014 4:16 pm

    Still not funny. Each time I click an article from the Thrill I’m saddened that I give the Thrill another tally in their viewership/readership box that unfortunately keeps this generally offensive waste running.

    • The Last Slamuri permalink
      April 23, 2014 4:27 pm

      fuck you this is HILARIOUS

    • Emma Specter permalink*
      April 23, 2014 4:30 pm

      Plz feed us, we’re huuungry//need yr thoughtful and sensitive input to keep generating our toxic sludgewaste!

      • April 23, 2014 4:59 pm

        I am a tool.

        Am I allowed to call myself this, at least?

        All God’s chillum got tools.

  2. Malice permalink
    April 23, 2014 5:51 pm

    Do you actually eat after 5 pm when you’re abroad? That’s really the only important takeaway here.

    • Kate Lindsay permalink*
      April 23, 2014 6:09 pm

      Reluctantly. Don’t worry we will be back at 5PM Peirce dinners so soon.

  3. Anonymous permalink
    April 23, 2014 10:11 pm

    FUNNY AND AWESOME. you rock, kate!

  4. Anonymous permalink
    April 23, 2014 10:38 pm

    pretty sure this was a beyond therapy sketch last year

  5. Anonymous permalink
    April 24, 2014 5:34 am

    The only people sticking up for the thrill are involved with it. That’s rich.

  6. swooop permalink
    April 24, 2014 7:42 am

    Echoing Anonymous The First’s sentiments, I find this offensive on almost every level. As someone who is currently abroad, I hope to share my experiences with my peers when I get back on campus, and because of articles like this I feel as though I am not allowed to speak about my time. I honestly feel like posts like these restrict my first amendment, and therefore ask that this is either removed by the Thrill staff or shunned by the Kenyon community. Otherwise, I will report it to the proper authorities, like WordPress or the OCS office.

  7. swooop permalink
    April 24, 2014 11:48 am

    …hi

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