We may not be able to have these pets, but you betcha we can have cooler pets.

Sadly, the college does not allow us to have pets in our dorm rooms. Although you can try having a small goldfish that will die before Gambier’s first snowfall, being alone with no pets is a sad experience. Who will come running to you as you come home? Who will allow you to pet it if you are crying and upset? While we may not be able to have cats or hamsters, here are some options for those dealing with a pet void.

1. A Rock: A classic option, rocks are both cost and space efficient. You can get them anywhere on campus, slap on goggly eyes or fur, and they will always stay in the same place where you left them.
2. An empty beer can: See that empty can from last weekend’s rager? Before you throw it out, how about keeping it as your room’s pet? Like your dog at home, the beer can has shared many memories with you and got you through both good times and bad. You can even tie a leash on this can if the bottle cap is still on and take your beer can for a walk!
3. Your roommate: Needing something that you can pet at random times and also ignore? Your roomie is a perfect solution! Just go up to them as they sleep and slowly pat their hair, and when they approach you about it turn the other way and throw a Cove mozzarella stick at them so they will stop begging.
4. A sock: Haven’t done laundry in three weeks? Is there a single sock that just won’t leave the floor below your desk? Give it a name and when people who come over ask about it just laugh and say “Oh that’s just Scruffy. Ignore him. He won’t bark until you bark at him.” If you feel like giving Scruffy friends, add extra socks to the mix and have a sock pet family!
5. A lighter: Are you the type of person who has a snake as a pet? A lighter is the pet for you. As you can’t let a snake go loose, you can’t light your lighter in a dorm, but the temptation will always be there. Friends may look at you warily for your choice of pet, but you know how to handle your pet without getting hurt, and you know it has a really good heart.