Gourdzilla: October-November 2011

Today, Kenyon College lost a great friend. Gourdzilla, our morbidly-obese-decorative-gourd-in-residence, has been removed from her place of honor in Peirce servery and is presumed dead. Throughout her tenure at the College, Gourdzilla was a symbol not only of autumn, but of the very spirit of this institution. Every day, she brought joy to Kenyon’s students, who otherwise would have nothing but the omelet station to brighten their early morning breakfasts.

The Thrill feels a special connection to Gourdzilla, because we grew up with her. One of our first posts covered the early rumors of her arrival, and we followed her as she put down roots here and truly became a member of the Kenyon family.

Gourdzilla leaves behind dozens of decorative gourdlings, all of whom loved their mother dearly and will gravely miss her. While we do not know what happens to us, or to gourds, when we pass from this world*, one thing is certain: Gourdzilla’s absence will leave a 1,084 pound void at Kenyon, one which we at The Thrill sincerely hope will be filled by new generations of Gourdzillas in autumns to come. Goodbye, Gourdzilla. We’ll miss you.

*for gourds, at least, what happens is probably composting

After the jump, a graphic image of Gourdzilla’s body being removed from campus.

13 responses

    • According to a friend on the Housing and Dining Committee, Gourdzilla was paid for through special funds AVI allocates for decoration. It’s completely unrelated to the normal food budget, let alone to any academic aspects of the College.

  1. Regardless if it was paid for with money intended for decorations, I still find it utterly ridiculous that AVI complains about us losing cups when they spend over $1,000 on something resembling a glorified middle school Art class project.

  2. Gourdzilla was also intended to be a fundraising event that would’ve led to lots of interesting goings-on around Peirce; unfortunately the farmer painted the weight on the side of the pumpkin. Blame the farmer for being just a little absent-minded; the money gourdzilla would have raised would have been used for “making good food” as someone so eloquently put it- but honestly, if you’re complaining about the food quality? Geez. grow up, kiddo. Some things in life are harder than not having steak tartar every night for dinner, and I expect you’ll figure that out when you leave college behind.

    • I don’t think we can fault the farmer too much… if I grew a pumpkin that massive, I would have painted the weight on it as a badge of honor/selling point before I thought “I wonder if a bunch of college students could guess the weight of this thing as a fundraiser.”

  3. While ordering a gigantic gourd isn’t usually the first thing that comes to mind for fundraisers, the college did have good intentions. It’s unfortunate they couldn’t think up anything to do besides guessing its weight.

    Funds at any university can’t just be thrown around willy-nilly. If the sports department is a little short for uniforms, they can’t take leftover cash from Social Board to pay for them.

    Also, I’d like to believe that students aren’t so immature and privileged that “steak tartar” should be expected at the school cafeteria (because hey, that’s actually what it is – the skylight just makes it seem bright and fancy), but that we’re college kids and we complain because less-than-perfect food is a tangible source of frustration and angst to combat the crises upon crises and the ever-impending maze of doom and despair that is the job market.

    MOST IMPORTANTLY GOURDZILLA, YOUR LOSS LEFT US WITH THIS GIANT SPACE IN OUR HEARTS AND THE SERVERY where hey, there’s way more room here when did that happen?

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