Most of us, upon hearing the news of a massive malevolent menagerie on the loose in Zanesville, Ohio were scared halfway to Hell. But not Cambridge, Ohio, residents Richard Weidlich and Brian Matthews, who apparently thought it would be a good idea to take the body of one of the executed lions and PUT IT IN THEIR JEEP CHEROKEE.
I’m sorry, but what? It’s one thing to stumble upon a dead tiger or lion and snap a photo with Hipstamatic and upload it to Facebook, but it’s something else entirely to take this majestic animal, which is probably about the size of a Manning double, and put it in your car. One of the would-be thieves (they were stopped by officers from the Muskingham Country Sheriff’s Office before they could get away) said that they were just “living in the moment.” You know what I do when I’m living in the moment? I buy myself a cookie from MiddleGround or maybe a #29 from the Deli, if the moment seems particularly significant (or livable, or whatever).
Or maybe, like corn hole, this is one game that I wasn’t taught while growing up on the East Coast.
[Read: The Smoking Gun, via Gawker]
These thieves have the right idea. Just take a moment and think about how much better your life would be with a full lion skeleton posin’ in your living room.