10 o’clock list: Five Creepiest Places on Campus

See entry 3: Mather. (David Hoyt for The Thrill)

There have been very few times that I’ve felt uncomfortable being somewhere alone on this campus. Walking back from the library at 1:00 in the morning? No problem. Old Kenyon at 2:00 (or whenever my “tired” ass finally crawls back to my room)? Bring it on. But the second you ask me to be alone in any of the following places, well, then, you’ve seriously lost your shit. Without further ado: Top Five Creepiest Places on Campus.

  1. The Manning basement — There are no windows and it smells like decaying fecal matter. This is troubling, because the basement is also the laundry room.
  2. Wherever the Kenyon Purple Person is — First of all, purple is not a naturally occurring color. Secondly, spandex is not a naturally occurring element. Finally, people do not naturally become purple. It stands to reason, then, that there is nothing natural about the Kenyon Purple Person. It is the realest ghost I’ve ever seen at Kenyon.
  3. Mather — Enough said.
  4. KAC HEAD House — Innocent freshman. First night out at Kenyon. All freshmen are kicked out. Hooded individual comes back and whispers, “Freshman girls can come back in.” Never been back.
  5. Gund Vending Machines — Once I found Cove scraps on Duff Street. Not wanting to waste perfectly good food, I crouched over my findings and feasted. In short, nothing stops me from a snack. Nothing. Except for the Gund vending machines. I mean, seriously, why are there prison bars on the food and drink machines? There’s something wrong here.

Honorable mention: Headquarters “Salon.”

43 responses

  1. GAZEBO LO COME ON
    GIVE YOUR ROOMMATE SOME LOVE

    ALSO SHOUTOUTZ TO THIS LISTS ORIG NAME “TOP PHIVE PLACES YOU ARE MOST LIKELY TO GET SHOT”

    • i have. and in its own way mather is very charming. creates strong bonds with the kids who live there because the rest of the freshman class is too uppity to associate with matherkids.

  2. how is nothing in gund (the dorm) not on here? having lived there for all of freshman year, i think it’s safe to say that it’s the creepiest spot on campus, period.

  3. LIVED IN GUND LAST YEAR, LIVIN IN MATHER DIS YEAR
    LUV MA LYFE NO HATE NO HATE PLZ
    IT SUX TO HATE ON THE LIVING SPACE OF OTHERS IMJUSSAYIN

  4. As someone who has frequented the Kac Head house I can honestly say that going to a party there is not a necessity for a Kenyon social life. In fact the opposite is true because it’s always the same group of people all the time — it’s like sitting in your dorm room drinking with the same people weekend after weekend (i.e. a Fucking Indoor Kid).

  5. As someone who has friends that live and frequent the KAC head house I find it simply offensive that you would write this. I would never write this about somewhere you and your friends go and I think that for the most part this blog has an ignorant and biased view on Kenyon’s social life. It is ridiculous that this blog is out there as a representative of Kenyon College for the world to see. If you are going to write posts like this one and other ones that generalize lumps of people like “lax bros” together and deem them close-minded and stupid, you should look in the mirror. You perpetuate an attitude of superiority that is not appreciated or respected in collegiate journalism and honestly makes me question the way in which we as students here analyze each other. We are proudly a diverse group of people and should not waste time criticizing the differences we find in each other, and rather try to spend time bridging the gaps. I hope all of the members of the staff see this comment and take it to heart. I understand a journalistic opinion and appreciate it, but I don’t appreciate such a pointed and malicious one in pieces of your writing.

    • this is a very well thought out comment and I think it is something we should look into further. using an internet blog as a sounding board to put down people and organizations is, in the simplest terms, bullying. the national bullying prevention program states, “students who bully often find satisfaction in demeaning the people they are bullying,” while this may not have been the intention of this article, it was the outcome. while I find the post to be offensive and the hurtful words of ms. toole to be regrettable, I want to stress to other readers who disagree with ms. toole to abstain from bullying her with derogatory comments. perhaps this is a good opportunity to examine the “kenyon bubble” we live in and realize that students at other schools have larger fears than vending machines with bars on them. as an organization the kac heads attempt to foster an atmosphere of community through sporting events, I hope that this article does not hinder our goals, but makes us a stronger community moving forward.

  6. I’M SORRY BUT AREN’T THE CREEPIEST PLACES ON CAMPUS THE ONES WHERE YOU TURN THE CORNER TO FIND SOMEONE CROUCHED OVER AND FEEDING ON COVE SCAPS????????

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