Exam week brings out the worst in pretty much everybody. We all rock the same basic look during finals: dazed expression, pajama pants 24/7 and dark circles under frantically gleaming eyes that leave you with no doubt that this person will fight you for the last secluded cubicle in the library. As you have surely done shameful, sloppy and embarrassing things this week as a result of stress and sleep deprivation (you may as well blame it on that), I will generously share with you my own sloppy, shameful and embarrassing habits of this week. I mean, if knowing that other people’s problems are worse than yours doesn’t make you feel better, nothing will. So here they are, my dirty exam week secrets:

1. Instead of walking all the way to the laundry room, I washed my clothes in the bathroom sink. Not all of my laundry, mind you (I’m not that desperate yet), just the bare essentials to get me until break when I can wash all of my dirty clothing for free at home. Possibly the worst part of this situation is that I referred to this as a “study break.”
2. For a 2:00 a.m. snack, instead of eating the stale chocolate chip cookies that I smuggled from Peirce last week, I squirted whipped cream straight from the can into my mouth. I know this isn’t uncommon and whipped cream is always delicious, but keep in mind I was eating carrots at the same time.
3. I haven’t washed my hair in four days. To be fair, there is a significant lack of hot water in my hall. This is my only good excuse here.
4. I ate warmed-up cup-of-noodle teriyaki noodles at 11:00 p.m. while “writing my Spanish paper” (a.k.a. watching TV on Hulu). Then the damn noodles, which weren’t even good, stunk up my entire room so it smelled like microwavable Asian food for the whole next day. It was too cold to open the windows and air out the room … so I sprayed lavender vanilla Febreeze everywhere. While it might seem like this scent combined with that of the teriyaki would make for a lovely aroma, it was actually really gross. Eventually I gave up and opened the windows.
5. I cried listening to Taylor Swift’s song “Mine.” This emotional awkwardness can be attributed to one of many causes: sleep deprivation, stress, my roommate’s obsession with TSwift songs, stress (again), raging emotions or maybe just Taylor’s melodious voice and great lyrics.

So, having fully embarrassed myself at your expense, I sincerely hope that these confessions have made you feel a little less ashamed of your own bad habits over exams. And if you see a girl sitting in pajama pants with unwashed hair listening to her headphones and crying, it might just be me.