Super Bowl XLVI: The Good, The Bad and Madonna

Eli Manning...Superbowl MVP

For anyone who missed it, the Super Bowl was last night, with the New York Giants defeating the New England Patriots in dramatic fashion by a score of 21-17. I spent the evening soaking up the action in the Gund Gameroom, dutifully noting everything. From the score to how upset I am that I missed the Puppy Bowl, it’s all here.

6:22: I arrive in Gund Game room. The big screen is on and looking perfectly staticky, just like last year when I watched the Green Bay Packers (insert multiple lines of dissatisfaction here) win. Ah, nostalgia.

6:25: Patriots win the coin toss. This is a patriotic game, with the colors of both teams being blue, white and red. I also note that both teams are geographically confused. The stadium address of the New York Giants is actually in East Rutherford, New Jersey. And New England is too vague for my tastes. Pick a location and stick with it, for crying out loud….

6:30: Patriots kickoff, Giants receive. And THEY’RE OFF!

6:34: Pizza is gone.

6:38: First commercial break.

6:40: Tom Brady and the Patriots take over. Quickly gets a safety, a.k.a. a football thing I’ve tried to understand for years but can’t quite get yet.

6:42: 2-0 Giants. Safety = getting tackled in your own end zone. Thanks, people who explained it to me!

6:48: Giants have run 17 plays so far. Patriots have only run one.

6:51: Touchdown Giants. That was easy. 3:24 left in the first quarter. 19 plays to one, according to the announcers. 9-0 Giants.

6:53: Wow, that was a weird nudist M&M commercial. Sexy and it knows it?

7:00: Q1 is done.

7:03: Q2 begins.

7:08: Fail on behalf of the broadcasters. Apparently the Pats got a field goal. Who knew? 9-3 Giants

7:11: Eli Manning had 9 straight completions to start the game, a new record for the Super Bowl.

7:13: COMMERCIAL FOR THE LORAX OMG I’M SO EXCITED!

720: H&M David Beckham commercial. I bookmarked this.

7:37: A Skechers commercial with a moonwalking French bulldog. I like, and so does the crowd here at the Gameroom. Lots of “awwws” and “eeeee”s.

7:47: TOUCHDOWN PATS. Eight seconds left in the first half, 9-8 Giants. Tied for the longest touchdown drive in Super Bowl history. 96 yards, 14 plays.

7:48: Made the extra point, 10-9 Pats.

7:49: I can tell that they are playing “Thunderstruck” by ACDC in the stadium. That’s kind of odd … great song, though.

7:50: HALFTIME, score is 10-9 Pats.

8:00: On the dot, and it’s Madonna, with creepy looking ancient men marching like robots…

8:02: She’s like a strange mix of ancient costumes and robotic movements.

804: We in the Gameroom are not amused. And, thanks to Wikipedia, we know Madonna’s pushing 52. She’s too old to be dancing like that.

8:05: Wow, the tightrope guy is kind of cool. I have to say he looks like a reincarnated Bob Ross though.

8:05: Oh, hello, LMFAO. “They definitely don’t know how to dance. She’s too old and they don’t know how. I would advise them not to limit themselves to female artists whose names start with the letter M.” – Jon Green ’14

8:07: And now they’re cheerleaders and Nicki Minaj and MIA are there as well. This is strange.

8:10: And now a marching band and Cee Lo Green are on stage also. “He just looks fat.” – Nikhil Idnani ’14

8:11: It wouldn’t be Madonna without a church choir, except for the fact that Madonna and Cee Lo Green look like Darth Vader’s glittery cousins.

8:13: World peace. And now, the halftime show is over.

8:22: The second half is underway, with the Giants kicking off to the Patriots.

823: Chad Ochocinco just caught the ball. I forgot he could do that…

8:28: TOUCHDOWN PATRIOTS. 17-9. That was quick; there’s still 11:20 left in Q3.

8:38: Giants field goal. 17-12 Patriots.

8:55: Field goal, Giants. 17-15 Pats, 35 seconds remain in Q3.

8:59: Patriots have the ball, and Q3 ends.

9:03: Interception, Giants ball. First turnover of the game. Interesting way to start off Q4.

924: Yet another Giant goes down with an injury! That’s three and counting! (Ed. Note: The Editor is a Patriots fan, and has been in a glass case of emotion all day.)

943: Second and goal for the Giants, 1:04 left to play. This is getting dramatic.

943: TOUCHDOWN GIANTS. 57 seconds remain in the game. Giants lead 21-17. Let’s see if Tom Brady can pull off a miracle.

9:44: And they’re going for the two-point conversion, but are stopped by the Patriots’ defense.

9:50: Another Patriots first down with 17 seconds left.

9:51: The announcers are talking about the proper etiquette involved in the Hail Mary pass. I didn’t realize proper etiquette existed for something unplanned and unexpected.

9:53: Giants win. 21-17. And the Super Bowl comes to an end. (Ed. Note: Editor is sad.)

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