10 o’clock list: Five Worst Shoes For Middle Path

After a month at Kenyon, most students figure out that Middle Path does a number to their shoes. Gravel, mud, snow and ice all take their toll on our little booties. Still, some shoes handle the perils of Middle Path worse than others. In tonight’s list, I give you the top five types of footwear for walking along the inside filling of an eclair that unites our campus.

You tricky devil, you.

  1. Flimsy Flip-Flops — Thongs may be the easiest thing to slide on in the morning, but Middle Path might just destroy them and your feet. It is almost inevitable that dust will get in between your toes and pebbles will pummel your feet as you race to the science quad. During your mad dash, someone will come up behind you and step on the back of your heel and you will fall flat on your face and everyone will laugh and your flippy-floppies will be broken.
  2. Adidas Adissage Sandals — Besides the fact that these are just uncomfortable, they are about the least practical shoe for a gravel-based path. It’s pretty clear that pebbles will get stuck in between each “massage nub.” Gross.
  3. Stilettos — “Hello, Carrie Bradshaw, this isn’t 5th Avenue!” High heels on Middle Path are obviously difficult, most of all during the icy months, but they are doable if you walk at the right pace. You are, however, a damn fool if you think you are going to make it from New Apts. to Old Kenyon in a pair of Manolo Blahniks. Also, why did you bring Manolo Blahniks to college?
  4. Anything with a Slippery Bottom — Middle Path really requires a shoe with traction. I have wiped out on the ice (a frozen mud gravel mixture) too many times due to non-grabbing soles. Unfortunately, many fashionable shoes these days have bottoms smooth as butter.
  5. Bare Feet — I can attest thanks to personal experience that running down Middle Path with bare feet is more painful than wearing toe-pinching high heels. On top of the pain of a thousand small rocks,  you run the risk of cutting your feet on shards of glass or stepping in something nasty.

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