Do it tonight: Moose Murders

But he just wants a nap! (via Wikimedia Commons)

Arthur Bicknell’s Moose Murders, lauded as the worst play in the history of theatre, is coming to Kenyon courtesy of Brave Potato Productions and the terrible mind of Miles Purinton ’12. This play is so abominable, the actors aren’t even seeing the script until the performance to keep them from running in terror. Tonight at 8:00 p.m. in the Black Box, for one performance only, you too can see the trainwreck that is a blind performance of Moose Murders. Details, reviews and a cast list after the jump.
• “From now on, there will always be two groups of theatergoers in this world: those who have seen Moose Murders, and those who have not. Those of us who have witnessed the play that opened at the Eugene O’Neill Theater last night will undoubtedly hold periodic reunions, in the noble tradition of survivors of the Titanic. Tears and booze will flow in equal measure, and there will be a prize awarded to the bearer of the most outstanding antlers. As for those theatergoers who miss Moose Murders – well, they just don’t rate. A visit to Moose Murders is what will separate the connoisseurs of Broadway disaster from mere dilettantes for many moons to come. … The worst play I’ve ever seen.”—Frank Rich, The New York Times
• “Selective patrons cannot even imagine what horrors reviewers are exposed to, night after nightmarish night.”—John Simon, New York Magazine
• “The standard of awfulness against which all other shows are judged.”—Wikipedia

As you can see, this is going to be … an experience to remember. The play begins at 8:00 p.m., and the house opens at 7:30. Make sure you get there early, though, because the show can only happen once before the actors know what’s going on and the magic is gone. Standing room will be provided, but it’s expected to be pretty full. In case you need more encouragement to see this spectacle, here’s a list of campus celebrities and big names involved in this multi-million dollar production blind run-through of the worst play in existence:

  • Robert Angell as Nelson Fay
  • Laura Barati as Snooks Keene
  • Rachel Cunningham as Hedda Holloway
  • Kenny Fedorko as Howie Keene
  • Shelby Green as Lauraine Holloway
  • Charles Lasky as Sidney Holloway
  • Allie Lembo as Gay Holloway
  • J.P. McElyea as Joe Buffalo Dance
  • Will Quam as Stinky Holloway
  • Marcie Schwartz as Nurse Dagmar


  • Miles Purinton as the Director
  • Katie Poinsatte as the Stage Manager
  • Cheyenne Davis, Ryan Eick, Becca Guttentag, Rosie Ouellet and Christine Prevas as the Stage Crew

Moose Murders opens (and closes) tonight in the Black Box Theater. The performance is free and space is extremely limited. The play begins at 8:00 p.m., with the doors opening half an hour beforehand.

4 responses

  1. Pingback: Where’s It At? with SJW « The Thrill

  2. Pingback: The Purinton Primer: Everyone Loves a Flop « The Thrill

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