Oh hai, readers. We almost didn’t see you there, freaking out over your midterms and mounting your last-ditch efforts to get laid. Also, note to self: The Thrill is better than writing a sex joke with the word “mounting.” Our poor humor choices aside, here’s everything you need to go into Monday morning informed.
The lead story: Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) and Sen. Lindsey Graham (Effete-SC) have put forth proposals that would create an alliance between Syrian rebels attempting to topple the regime of Pres. Bashar al-Assad and the United States.
A prison riot in Mexico has resulted in the deaths of 44 people.
Across the pond in London, Rupert Murdoch has announced that his Sun tabloid will start running a Sunday edition, aptly called the Sun on Sunday. It should pick up all the former readers of The News of the World, which Murdoch shuttered amidst allegations of journalistic malfeasance.
In response to economic sanctions, Iran has cut off oil shipments to Britain and France. We’re going to say it now — there is no way this ends well for anyone. Also in Europe, the Greek government is trying to assure EU finance ministers that it won’t squander the bailout it’s asked for.
The weather: It’s going to be really rainy after today, so take out the raincoat your prematurely put on mothballs after this weekend’s Spring-like weather. On the bright side, it will still be warm for at least part of the week.