Unless you’re in the vast minority of Kenyon students who actually make it to breakfast on a regular basis (okay, it may not be vast, but it feels that way to me since I am resoundingly not one of them), this post will be useless to you. If you do occasionally rise before noon, however, read on!
Egg & Toast Thing™
The steps to making an Egg & Toast Thing™ are simple, but they will change your whole world on a Sunday morning when you’re exhausted and dehydrated and want a vaguely non-disgusting breakfast to build you up for the day ahead, but are sick of hash brown triangles greasier than an oil slick paired with bland Peirce-generic cereal (“Mallow Oats”? Don’t be coy with us, AVI. We know you mean “jankety Lucky Charms”).
First, select two slices of bread (whole-wheat for the health-conscious, white for the deliciousness-conscious). Next, butter the bread. Then grab two fried eggs from Comfort (make sure they’re extra-runny) and slide each one onto a toast slice. Slap some spinach leaves on there (they’re mostly decorative, but they help to maintain the illusion that you’re having a hearty and nourishing breakfast). Cut the eggs in such a way that the yolk drenches the toast. Messiness is key here — the more like a Jackson Pollock your plate looks, the better your food will taste.
Enjoy multiple times, if necessary — when I discovered the Egg & Toast Thing™ during finals week last semester, I made myself three servings in a row and then proceeded to not shut up for a full hour about how tasty it was and how creative the recipe was until it was gently pointed out to me that it actually isn’t creative at all, it’s eggs on toast. Whatever. It’s good.