Kenyon students say the darndest things. We at The Thrill are just lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time to hear them, write them down on tiny scraps of paper and then post them on the internet.
What follows is a sample of the shiniest pearls of wisdom our student body had to offer over the past few weeks. Wise words, indeed.
Pensive Guy in Great Hall, Looking Around — “I keep thinking everyone’s on Heelys.”
Vocab-Confused Girl at Tables on 3rd-Floor Olin — “Alright, I can’t focus here. I’m gonna go to a carousel and work.”
More gems after the jump.
Weekend-Recapping Girl In Omelette Line — “…And then you climbed over the table at Weaver, knocked over a bunch of beers and Tiffany* yelled at you.”
- In reply, Anxious Friend — “Oh God, I wasn’t trying to dance on the table, was I?”
- Weekend-Recapping Girl, reassuringly — “No, you were just trying to escape.”
Precociously Passionate 2nd-Grader at Wiggin Street Elementary — “LEBRON WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!!!”
Annoyed Dude in Servery, after almost being bowled over by a clump of Great Hall-bound bros shouting “GRYFFINDOR!” — “The combination of drunk-ass swimmers and Harry Potter Day is just too much to handle.”
Fed-Up Girlfriend on First-Year Quad — “I never go out anymore. He goes out, then he comes over and I’m home and we hook up. I’m like a geisha!”
- In reply, Equally Fed-Up Friend With Somewhat Better Command of Japanese History — “Yeah, not really.”
On Leap Day, The Night of The Bat:
- Overexcited Guy in Library — “Wait, is anyone getting this on tape?”
- Sarcastic Girl Brandishing iPhone, Gesturing to Surrounding Crowd — “Everyone is getting this on tape.”
I don’t even know how to properly write this one up, but a few weeks ago I watched two guys randomly launch into impromptu a cappella harmonization at the Comfort Station, sing softly together for about a minute and a half and then walk off in opposite directions without exchanging a word. Make of that what you will.
* Tiffany has been used as a substitute for the real name.