Well, Kenyon, it’s already a bloodbath. I’m speaking to you from the steps of Rosse Hall, where I am witnessing a large crowd of dead tributes gathering.
Today, we at The Thrill will, in addition to sponsoring Kenneth Fedorko ’13, be liveblogging The Kenyon Hunger Games. Enjoy.
1:51 p.m.: In all, The Kenyon Hunger Games has raised
$286 $316 for the Mid-Ohio Food Bank. Good work, kids.
1:48 p.m.: BREAKING NEWS: CONOR DUGAN HAS TRIUMPHED. THE THRILL WILL ALLOW HIM TO CONTINUE TO HAVE FRIENDS. In second place, Lauren Katz. In third place, Eddie Baxter (a.k.a. Cato). In fourth place, Nat Katz.
1:41 p.m.: Four tributes remain: Lauren and Nat Katz, Eddie Baxter and Conor Dugan. We at The Thrill are not saying that if Conor doesn’t win, he’ll never see his family again. But we are saying that.
1:39 p.m.: Caesar Flickerman has it out for Lauren Katz. He has purchased two injuries inflicted upon her. A fireball thrown by Ethel Merman has attacked her.
1:37 p.m.: Rosemary is dead for real. Conor Dugan is receiving the remainder of our sponsorship.
1:32 p.m.: I would like to take a moment to personally mourn Rosemary Ouellet. … who might still be in. Updates pending.
1:28 p.m.: The Feast was terrible. Kenneth has fallen. Marcie (a.k.a. Foxface) is also dead. The Thrill is contemplating reallocation of our remaining three ribbons.
1:17 p.m.: Robbie Sellers has fallen. What will Charley the puppy do?!
12:59 p.m.: For the record, Kenneth has $50 of sponsorship toward him at the moment. He has redeemed $8 of it (one weapon, one extra life).
12:56 p.m.: Remaining tributes: Rosemary Ouellet, Eddie Baxter, Conor Dugan, Payton Schlicht, Nat and Lauren Katz, Kenneth Fedorko (yes!), Brenda Ramos, Marcie Schwartz and Robbie Sellers.
12:53 p.m.: Ten tributes remain, of 32 to begin. (Two dropped out.)
12:51 p.m.: Rosemary Ouellet ’15 has taken the life of a still-optimistic Taylor Ross.
12:48 p.m.: Graeme Earle ’15, Samuel Teeter and Andrea Odegaard ’14 are dead, some from combat with one another. A tragic day.
12:43 p.m.: Ben Kress ’14 and Joe Walsh ’15 are both dead. Joe was attacked by Taylor Ross ’13 and Ben, in the midst of an alliance with Rosie, was swarmed.
12:42 p.m.: Overheard at The Kenyon Hunger Games: “Dead people, over here.”
12:39 p.m.: PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Ping-pong balls are not grenades.
12:36 p.m.: Margaux Lenain ’15 has passed. R.I.P.
12:34 p.m.: Kenneth has yet to show up to receive his six extra lives, two weapons, food and ammo. Hopefully that means he doesn’t need them.
12:30 p.m.: Mopsy, the beloved dog of Jameyann Fuller ’14, is serving as a muttation.
12:26 p.m.: Andrea Odegaard ’14 has stopped by to retrieve weaponry. Now she is locked in combat with Graeme Earle ’15.
12:23 p.m.: It seems that numerous tributes have thus far been the victim of the ruthless killing machine that is Samuel Teeter ’15. Kenneth is nowhere to be seen.
12:17 p.m.: The dead are thus far numerous. Mere minutes after the Cornucopia, the list of the dead is as follows: Matthew Super ’15, Benjamin Wachter ’15, Kira Henderson ’15, James Hutt ’15, Johanna Klinman ’15, Perry Minella ’14, Claire Talty’15, Hanna Buzsaki ’15 (a suicide), Julia Morris ’15, Ryan Eick ’13, Sam Hilling ’15, Robert Angell ’13 and Jaime Cohen ’15.