Some us are still basking in the glow of Sendoff and Castaway. Others are attempting to piece together what actually happened this weekend. In tonight’s list we review the very real events of this weekend that you wish you just hallucinated.

1. You won a hot dog eating contest — It turns out that you were the only contestant.
2. That super cool temporary tattoo is not actually temporary
3. Forcing all of your friends to call you Gandalf  — “You shall not drink my beer!”
4. Shirtless o’clock — Maybe you watched a lot of Tracy Morgan on 30 Rock lately or that one dude convinced you that being shirtless is “really in right now.”
5. How you got that bald spot — Chances are Big Boi did not dare you to shave part of your head.