Most Kenyon students have had at least one roommate during their time on the Hill. Some people have been very lucky and were paired by ResLife with their soulmate. Others got roommates who peed in their closet on Saturday nights. Whatever your roommate situation, there are a number of things that you could do to shake that unbreakable bond you and your roommate share over Wes Anderson movies.

1. Learn how to sleep with your eyes open. Nothing says “I watch you while you sleep” better than pretending to watch someone while they sleep.
2. Tell your roommate that you are outsourcing his/her friendship to a French multinational company.
3. Refuse to bathe.
4. Photoshop Josh Radnor into all of your personal photos. “Hey Tiffy/Jimmy*, have I showed you the latest photo of me and Josh?”
5. Transfer to Oberlin.

*Tiffy and Jimmy are still very fictional.