The third floor of the library is reserved for moments of sheer desperation, or at least for when you’d like to convince yourself that, because you’re not in your room, you’re totally gonna get more work done. Either way, despite the floor’s main purpose, it’s nearly impossible to work there without almost entirely disrupting those around you. These are the main perpetrators.
- Putting your headphones on but forgetting to plug them in so everyone can hear that your “seriously guys I really have to get work done tonight” soundtrack is “Good Time” by Owl City feat. Carly Rae Jepsen.
- You’ve been listening to music for so long that you are no longer aware of the volume outside your headphones, so it’s literally impossible to gauge how loud you should speak, so you end up screaming “DO YOU WANT TO GO TO PEIRCE IN LIKE FIFTEEN?” to your friend who is sitting centimeters from you.
- Eating a bag of Ruffles: This has less to do with the inconvenience of foil bags and more to do with the fact that, if I could, I would stick my entire head in a bag of Ruffles if that meant I was able to reach that one crumb in the bottom corner.
- Opening your laptop and having whatever you were last watching start blaring throughout the floor because when your roommate came back you shut your laptop without pausing so they couldn’t see it. You know what’s worse than one person knowing that you were crying alone in bed watching Homeward Bound in eight-minute increments on YouTube? Forty people. (Ed.: Or porn.)
- Talking on the phone: I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt here. Unless you genuinely forgot that you were in a silent study area and not in Old Kenyon with a finger jammed in one ear trying to figure out where your friend went, that phone should be off and in your backpack like we’re back in middle school. You know who you are.