This is the final installment in a five-part series. Tomorrow morning, we’ll open a poll so you can vote for your favorite candidate. The Thrill will then convey the results of that poll to the Presidential Search Committee, which will hold a public meeting on Friday evening.

Hail to the chief.

Okay, there’s been some friction between the Purple Person and, well, everyone who’s ever had to look at it, but maybe a leadership position is just the thing the creature needs to better connect with the student body. Seeing as the Purple Person’s identity lies concealed beneath a disturbingly snug neon bodysuit, his/her/its tenure as president would be shrouded in mystery, and who doesn’t love a good mystery? It could be anyone in there! You! Me! Maybe even The Nuge herself, back for a stealthy bonus term! Plus, Pres. Purple Person would definitely adhere to the Machiavellian governance principle of “it’s better to be feared than loved”, since, you know, he/she/it is absolutely, bone-chillingly horrifying. P.P. for Prez!