Sure we can do silly things like “open a dialogue” or “vote” on this upcoming all-campus smoking ban. Or, if you’re like one of these people, you can get a Sharpie, find a “No Smoking” sign, and take matters into your own hands. I’ve scoured the campus to bring you 7 Signs That Prove Kenyon People Really Like Smoking:
I like this one. It’s understated, yet an excellent tribute to M. Night Shamylan’s favorite OG German expressionist vampire flick. Speaking of which, if that was you on the phone and you on the bus, then who’s been flicking the lights?
2. No Smoking Pie
I’ve seen this one quite a few times. Normally I’m not a fan of clichés, but that crust looks so irresistibly flaky that I’m guilty of trying to eat it on occasion. Bonus points for the intersecting lines that are reminiscent of M.C Esther’s impossible cube. Like, woah.
3. Piano Smoking
What?! Smoking? Within 30 feet of an entrance to a building and/or residence hall?! The horror! THE HORROR! It’s even scarier after you realize this sign is a few paces away from the #1 rated freshman smoke spot on campus.
5. N.O.R.E Smoking
To be honest, I don’t know what’s going on here. Maybe somebody tried writing “snore” smoking but the ‘s’ got erased? That’d explain the ‘X’. No, that’s not it. I like to think that somebody witnessed N.O.R.E, the rapper from Queens popular for his hit single “Nothin’,” smoking in that very spot and was so excited that he/she marked an X at the spot and forever memorialized his brief Kenyon cameo onto a humorous plaque. Or maybe I’m reading too deeply into this thing…
6. Patriotic Gnome Smoking
He looks more like an ogre, but I’m not in a position to judge anybody with the lung capacity to handle that ginormous of a stogie.
7. … Anything Other Than Weed!
And this is why you should always read the fine print. But wait, people at Kenyon smoke weed?!?
Note: Graffiti, although entertaining at times, is still vandalism. Not only is it a crime and a total violation of school policy, it also makes this place look a lot less pretty. Don’t do it, yo. unless you’re really good at it.