10 o’clock list: Five Bizarre Outcomes of Dorm Life

Knock, guys. It’s the smart choice.

I don’t know about you guys, but with the temperature dropping and the sky oscillating between being a light, foggy grey and an extremely soul-killing grey, it seems the best choice is to stay indoors, cover every surface of your dorm room with plush blankets and order huge amounts of Nite Bites in order to avoid that wind-blown walk from your dorm to Peirce. It seems like a pretty perfect solution right? Well, it is, but with the transition from outdoor kid to complete indoor kid comes the zany experiences of dorm life. As the clock keeps ticking, the encounters get weirder. Here is a list of the five most bizarre outcomes of dorm life.

  1. The Uninvited Guest: The sky has darkened to a peaceful dark blue. You are swaddled up in bed or spread out on the floor playing a rousing late night game of Bananagrams with your friends. Suddenly, the door creeks open.  Is it the Caples ghost coming to do spooky things to you? No, it’s just a fairly inebriated guy desperately searching for cigarettes. WARNING: do not give this person your lighter. If you do, you will never see it again.
  2. The Unexpected Sing-a-long: Just last week I was sitting in my bed with my roommate watching The West Wing, ahem, I mean working tirelessly, when some unexpected music wafted up through our open window. I admit that at first we were not enthused by the seemingly endless chorus of REM’s Losing My Religion, but eventually we just gave in to the beat and sang along. I hope that the unknown singers appreciated our off-key contributions.
  3. The Occasional Odd Odor: I won’t name any names, but a few days ago I came home to find that a surprising and completely repulsive scent had engulfed my entire room. My roommate, whom I love with all of my heart, had spilled some spoilt milk in our fridge. Some advice: bad smells do not simply disappear with continued avoidance. You have to get out those Clorox wipes and spray some Febreze to deal with the aroma situation.
  4. The Awkward Sexxxy Interruption: Having someone walk in on you (or walking in on someone else) is an unavoidable outcome of dorm life.  It’s uncomfortable, but not uncommon. But no one wants to see someone else’s sexy time. So, take my advice and knock. 
  5. The Welcome Feast: Not all dorm life occurrences are negative. Living with tons of people in one building can be great because you get to eat other people’s food. Occasionally, someone else’s parents are exceptionally loving and send them an entire pie. There is no shame in barging into your neighbor’s room to just chow down on the delicious treat her extremely kind and thoughtful parents mailed to her. You listen to her dance to Taylor Swift’s new album every night, you deserve a reward. Just kidding! I love T.Swift. And baked goods.

6 responses

  1. So, if Clorox Wipes and Febreez don’t do it, try borscht. The Rugs Rats said borscht is a cure-all for odors. Or what about a weekly cleaning out of the ol’ frig to prevent pungent disasters? Regular cleaning might not make good comic material, but it would probably make your parents, those sweetie-pies who sent the pie, very very happy!

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