10 o’clock list: Five Things that Might Confuse Kenyon Students

This is a map.

Kenyon College is fairly easy to navigate. Anything you are looking for can be found by walking down Middle Path and turning to the right or left. With one library, one coffee shop, one market, and one dining hall, Kenyon is nice and simple. Yet, even the most scholarly scholar has potential to get lost in the riot proof hallways of Mather or McBride, or accidentally end up in the basement of some building they’ve never been in before (if you would like to argue that you’ve never made any mistakes like these, then I applaud you for being an Infallible and Perfect Human). Even though it’s almost Thanksgiving and we should all know our way around by now, here is a list of some locations or situations around Gambier that continue to be confusing.

  1. Leonard vs. Ascension—Alright, so the difference between these buildings is pretty clear, but you have to admit that you’ve awkwardly approached Ascension at least one time thinking it was Leonard Residence Hall. Maybe I’m just an eager beaver that wants to turn off of Middle Path a little too early, but both buildings are so looming and Gothic that they’re pretty easy to confuse if you’re not paying attention.
  2. Gund vs. Gund vs. Gund – Picture this: you’re meeting with a group for a project, and someone says, “Let’s just meet in Gund around 10:00.” Okay, thanks Kid from Spanish Class, but I’m going to need some clarification. When you say, “Gund,” do you mean the first year dorm? Or perhaps you’re referring to Gund Commons, or maybe Gund game room? On second thought, he could also be talking about Gund Gallery. If That Kid from Spanish Class casually throws the name “Gund” around without any clarification he could end up scattering your group around to at least three different locations on campus.
  3. First Years vs. Students Back from Abroad – When you ask someone, “So, are you a first year?” the conversation could go one of two ways. The first result: They say, “Yes, I am! Is it that obvious?” and you feel like a hero for pulling this first year out of the mire of social obscurity as you talk to them about how much you know about Kenyon life. The second result: they say, “No, I’m a senior,” and you feel a deep, awkward kind of shame.
  4. Boys with Black Hair and Thick Framed Glasses – Saying, “He’s kind of skinny, with black hair and thick framed glasses,” only narrows your description down to about 40% of the men at Kenyon. It can be difficult to distinguish between guys of this description when describing them to your friends.
  5. Fred Baumann and Jeffrey Bowman – If you’ve ever told someone that you’re taking Political Science with Prof. Bowman or Medieval History with Prof. Baumann, then you’ve fallen into a very common trap. Things are slightly less confusing with Prof. Bowman on sabbatical in the U.K. this year, but even if you confuse these professors, you can’t go wrong with either of them.

Honorable Mention: The Borrowers vs. The Burrowers – Both of these are on the Netflix Instant queue. Yet, while the titles are one measly letter different from one another, “The Burrowers” severely lacks the tiny people living in John Goodman’s apartment complex that make “The Borrowers” an instant classic.

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