In honor of the few months left before the enactment of the fearsome Smoking Ban, I present you with a list of the cigarettes most often smoked at Kenyon, characterized by those who smoke them. Remember kids, smoking is a dangerous and expensive habit so don’t start just because you want to be made fun of on The Thrill.
- Marlboro Blend No. 27 (27’s). Favored by Peeps and smokers with high GPAs.
- Marlboro Reds. Usually, it’s boys with something to prove who smoke Reds (you know, because of their reputation as “Cowboy Killers“), but sometimes it’s weirdly the petite pretty girl in your Religious Studies class.
- Unfiltered Lucky Strikes. Exclusively smoked by first years with money (and lungs) to burn.
- American Spirits. Again, smoked by moneyed first years. Also, smoked by non-smokers.
- Camel Crushes. Athletes (shh, don’t tell), the health conscious and genteel first-year girls have all been known to enjoy popping the menthol bubble in these cigarettes. We hear that GG Allin smokes these too?
- Camel Blues. Everyone and their mom smokes Blues. They are the gender neutral cigarette. Often seen between the fingers of “social smokers.”
- Pall Malls. Purchased and consumed by addicts whose parents haven’t deposited their monthly allowance into their Peoples Bank accounts yet.