Hey, Buddhist House — We Found You a Roommate!

A few days ago, the residents of Buddhist House sent around an all-campus email seeking to fill a vacancy in their themed-housing Acland. Today, an interested applicant sent us this letter to pass on to them. We think we’ve stumbled upon your dream roommate, gentlemen — no need to thank us.

Serenity now.

Serenity now.

Dear Residents of Buddhist House,

I’d like to apply for the spare room advertised in the “Calling All Men Interested in Living in the Buddhist House” email you sent out last week.

I believe I’m a perfect fit for Buddhist House, despite the fact that I am a heavy-drinking, diehard atheist smoker who is also deathly allergic to “chill vibes” and prone to blinding fits of violent rage. 

I’m seeking new accommodations due to issues with my prior living situation in Fight Club-themed housing — regrettably, it turned out that my unquenchable bloodlust tested the boundaries even of a house specifically devoted to savagery.

I’m not supposed to tell you where I was living (first rule of Fight Club Themed Housing – don’t talk about Fight Club Themed Housing), but I’m willing to take the risk — I believe the bond of Zen transcends all.

I think the “two 30-minute Zen-style meditations per week” you mentioned in your email would really help me control my wrath issue. I’m particularly interested in kicking a persistent arson habit, and I can’t imagine a better place to not set devastating, fury-induced fires than the calming, open space of the Buddhist House Acland. I hope living with you will soothe my soul to the point where Satan no longer compels me to seek his righteous vengeance upon the pitiful Earth.

I do have one question, and I’m anticipating it might cause a bit of a hiccup in my application process, but I’m confident we can work it out. How literally do you take the “men-only” policy?

You see, although I am currently representing myself as a man to the U.S. government for tax reasons, I am a woman. A violent, rage-filled, Devil-worshiping arsonist woman.

When do I move in?

Love,

Your Future Roomie

22 responses

  1. Does anyone know what happened to our goose?

    o>
    ll ll
    \lllliiii/ \llllliiii/
    L L L L o>

    We loved that goose.

  2. This is ridiculous; the only available spot was living in a double with a guy. You can’t call a whole organization sexist because one individual in the group would rather share a small confined space with someone of the same gender. 80% of the campus polled said they would rather live in a double with someone of the same gender. Is 80% of the campus sexist? No.

    • i agree that this is a weird ass/unfunny/vaguely offensive (see: I believe the bond of Zen transcends all) post but i don’t think they implicitly or explicitly call the buddhist house sexist

  3. Bad Fight Club jokes aside, this is a strange post. It’s not your right to say whether someone should get to live with someone of the same sex or not. They put out an ad asking for a male roommate, and you’re pissed that they’re not accepting female applicants? Do you apply for jobs that require a graduate degree?

  4. Only at Kenyon would someone so obnoxiously label a meditation group as sexist…and yes I think a girl does live in the house.

  5. wow so like the thrill to be very very superficial. you guys are a valuable organization! totally! thanks for making life at kenyon so much more interesting!

  6. Their posting was completely innocuous. I don’t get at all how it could be deemed offensive. Is this a bad joke? I hope so.The Thrill’s apparent inability to make us laugh is WAY better than this faux outrage…..

  7. I don’t really think it was calling anyone sexist, i think the point was just to describe the exact opposite of the type of person that they’re probably looking for, and since they asked for men, that would include being a woman…

  8. Whoever wrote this letter does not understand anything about feminism and editors should feel bad about letting something so inflammatory pass.

  9. It’s funny because i feel like the people freaking out about this article “calling Buddhist house sexist” are the same people who accuse othes of being oversensitive about things being sexist/racist/homophobic

  10. This is NOT about feminism – clearly, the guy in this room feels comfortable only living with another male. It’s not sexist AT ALL. Chill out.

    • There is something interesting in each of our developed comforts regarding gender, though.
      But having a preference shouldn’t be discouraged for a small living space, especially in a developmental place like Kenyon, I think!

  11. My favorite part about this article was that the authors are listed as “Thrill Staff,” meaning that at least 2 people at The Thrill thought this was hilarious. I’m kind of hoping you guys go back to writing articles about how men are running wild at Kenyon viciously beating and harassing women and gay people. At least the comments on those articles were funny…

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