Everyone loves getting mail. Also, the U.S. Postal Service is going bankrupt, so when you get these special surprises in your box, you can feel even better about yourself for helping to save the nationwide business. Here are the best things you can find when you remember to actually check your mail once in a while:
- Care packages! Everyone loves that kind of thing. When you’re begging Mom and Dad (or Dad and Dad or Mom and Mom or your single but equally capable parent — The Thrill likes to be politically correct) for cash, you should also mention that care packages are a nice surprise.
- $50 from Grandma with a note that says “I know you’re stressed over finals week; use this to buy yourself something nice!” Obviously I’m going to use that on alcohol, but it’s a very sweet gesture and as a broke college kid I totally appreciate that kind of thing. Grandma, if you ever learn to use the Internet, I was kidding. I’ll probably buy a nonfiction 1,000 page book about Tudor England or something.
- Five yellow slips with your name on them. It honestly doesn’t matter what your packages are, they could be tiny envelopes just barely passing as packages, textbooks you ordered because they are cheaper than at the bookstore, hate mail, a severed hand, whatever. It’s really just about the smugness you feel knowing that your boxmate has totally seen all five of those yellow slips and is seething with jealousy. This is even nicer if you live South because then you are guaranteed to walk by a ton of people who will see you carrying your boxes triumphantly.
- Stuff you ordered. Sure, you knew it was coming, but if you ordered it you are probably excited about it.
- Postcards from your friends who are in way cooler places than you. There are two ways to think about these: you could be super jealous and annoyed that they are somewhere more awesome that is probably a tropical beach where they are drinking themselves silly and screwing hula dancers on the white sand of the Caribbean, or you could be like “wow they could be drinking piña coladas and screwing hula dancers on the white sand of the Caribbean but instead they are writing me a postcard! That is so sweet!” Unless your friends are super multi-taskers and can do all three of those things at once. Still, it’s a sweet gesture.