Wow. I sure have missed you guys. It’s been awhile since we crafted and frankly, a lot has changed. I’ve grown as a woman. More mature. Less cursing.
Just kidding. I just found more things to craft that I have a feeling you will loooo-huuuuvveee. Learn more about crafting your very own comic book shoes after the jump!
Things we’re gonna need:
- Shoes that you think are really boring and want to be less boring someday.
- A Comic book you are willing to chop up. (I went and bought an Archie comic because the only comic I own is about Superman landing in Russia instead of the U.S. and there’s no way am I chopping that shit up).
- Tacky glue (97 cents at Walmart), or any other thick glue.
- Elmer’s glue and water (which you will have to turn into mod podge) or Mod Podge.
- A love of collage. You might think I meant “college.” No, idiot. I meant collage.
- Bob’s Burgers playing for ambiance.
This is a lot simpler than the nail art we did earlier. You’re really going to like this one.
- Start by cutting out some comics. Do what you feel. You’re the captain of your own heart. But I’m going to give you some suggestions. From one crafter to another, the best comics are the ones with a lot of sound effects. You know, ZAPS! and POWS! and YEEEEEOOW!s…which Archie has a shocking amount of. You also want to focus on high emotion scenes. Like when Archie screws over Betty again because Veronica is supermegafoxyawesomehot. Yeah, we get it Archie. Her boobs are big.
- Get your tacky glue ready! Begin by gluing the lamest comics on to create a first layer. Trust me, you really cut out some lame ones. Let this layer dry a little bit. Not too long though. Don’t put in too much effort. You’re a crafter, not an artist. Never forget that.
- Over your lame layer, start to put down the cool stuff you have. The smooches and the kablams; the scared faces and the boxing matches. You know what I’m talking about.
- Let this dry for a while. If you don’t like how it looks at this point then throw the shoes away because they looked way worse before and you don’t deserve them when they finally look cool.
- Now you’ve watched enough of Bob’s Burger’s and it’s time to put on a finishing layer of glue! Use either mod podge or water down your elmers glue.
- Dry this until you die.
VOILA! (The picture above is without the finishing layer of mod podge because the tacky glue isn’t dry enough yet and seriously…finals).
Okay, I’ve been keeping a secret from you guys. These shoes are not going to be waterproof. The glue is heavily water based and so more water is just going to confuse it. Osmosis, you know. Abutment. Some desiccation. (I made all of that up. I don’t have science words for you. I literally googled “science words that have to do with water” and ignored their definitions so you would like me). But do not fret. All over the world, stores sell shit that you spray on your shit so it’ll be good in watery situations. Waterproof spray stuff. But if you don’t feel like forking over the few doll-hairs for that, just make them indoor shoes.
All the hotties you will be pulling in with these shoes probably prefer dry areas anyway.