Peirce Date: Exercising Their Fifth Amendment Rights

What a great dating locale!

What a great dating locale!

It has been quite a while since the last Peirce Date took place, so for those of you who don’t remember or maybe never knew, here’s what goes down. We set two Kenyon singles up to go on a blind date in Peirce where they learn about themselves, each other, and society as a whole. If you or anyone you know is interested, let us know!

Find out this intriguing couple’s date details after the jump.

Contestant #1: Kaitlyn Burd

Kaitlyn Burd' 15 is one pretty lady

Kaitlyn Burd’ 15 is one pretty lady

  1. Year: 2015
  2. Major: English, just declared!
  3. Hometown: Louisville, Kentucky (Make sure y’all pronounce this correctly. It is an art form.)
  4. Describe yourself in terms of vegetables: Corn from my Great Aunt Virgie’s farm.
  5. Ideal date: Do everything that Lou Reed describes in the song “Perfect Day”
  6. Best pickup line ever: “Wanna come see my Jesus clock?” (Ed: this one is fool proof)
  7. Best Lie: Telling people that I declared a synoptic major on the Tibetan Book of the Dead and then carrying on a fifteen minute conversation about the sources I intended to use in my senior comps before admitting that I was actually just another English major.
  8. Best thing about Kenyon: How many goats are near by.
  9. Worst thing about Kenyon: Not enough people laugh at my puns.
  10. In 20 years you are: With some goats (10 to 20)

Contestant #2: Noah Weinman

Noah Weinman' 16 is just keepin' it real

Noah Weinman’ 16 is just keepin’ it real

  1. Year: First, 2016
  2. Major: Undecided
  3. Hometown: Los Angeles, CA
  4. Describe yourself in terms of vegetables: Jicama with gravy
  5. Ideal date: Burnt toast with little to no conversation (preferably before noon)
  6. Best pickup line ever: My mating call
  7. Best lie: I convinced my friends one morning in Peirce that the two small kids seated at the same table as a sophomore were his children. I proceeded to create an elaborate story about his family forcing him to marry at a  young age and that he and his wife live in the NCAs.
  8. Best thing about Kenyon: The people
  9. Worst thing about Kenyon: Rain. I hate rain.
  10. In 20 years you are: Still kickin’

About the date…

Kaitlyn was the first to arrive. She got there a few minutes early and anxiously awaited her suitor to show himself. She admitted that a friend picked out her outfit with her and that it was her winning date outfit. Noah arrived a few minutes later, exactly on time. He looked quite swanky in a button down, slacks, jacket, and tie. His outfit was apparently for an event he had to attend after the date. “I was nervous that she would think that I got all dressed up for this,” said Weinman. An onlooker reported to me that their dinner date looked successful because of the amount of open body language that she perceived.

Noah: We talked about music, books, Kenyon, books…

Kaitlyn: I enjoyed our conversation. We talked about giant squids and P.F. Kluge. He also told me a disturbing story while I was eating my wrap about a teacher he had who had eaten his wife’s placenta after she gave birth. Then when talked about some other normal people stuff.

How about the atmosphere…

Kaitlyn: Hmm, how would I describe Peirce on a Thursday night? Casual and comfortable.

Noah: The atmosphere was loud and fun, kind of awkward with everyone you know looking at you. It’s one thing to go out to a place like that, but it’s different when everyone around knows you. Not really a good different.

How does Peirce stand up to other date locales in Gambier?

Noah: Definitely the cheapest.

Kaitlyn: Well, they could have better Saturday hours.

Favorite anecdote of the date…

Kaitlyn: My friend walking by and winking at me. Multiple times.

Noah: I would like to exercise my 5th amendment right at this time.

What about a second date?

Kaitlyn: This date kind of broke my budget so it will be awhile before I am back on the Peirce dating scene again. He was really nice though.

Noah: NO. Just kidding. Sure, why not? She’s taller than I am though, which always makes me feel weird.

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