Overheard at Kenyon, Vol. X

jack-nicholson-the-shiningWe’re always listening (via jack-nicholson.info)

We know this week has been hard: it dropped forty degrees in two minutes and you spent Friday night crawling through the snow on your hands and knees so you wouldn’t fall on your face during the blackout. After the hard time you’ve been having, we though you deserved a little something special. You can claim your quote in the comments at your own risk.

Girl having an epiphany in the servery: “There’s a time in every girl’s life when she needs to make the transition from PacSun to American Eagle.”

Guy in the Caples elevator: “I really need to cut my toenails to the point that it’s turned into a sexual desire. Does that ever happen to you?”

  • Faithful friend: “Yeah, I totally feel that.”
  • Confused stranger: “That’s vile.”

Experience more precious moments after the jump!

Horny girl, discussing her professor with a friend: “He’s so hot, he dominates me.”

Dazed student walking through downtown Mt. Vernon: “Does that sign say veterinarians’ foreskin?”

  • Wise friend: “Uhh, no…that says veterans of foreign war.

Student expert on something: “I watch a lot of Gangland so I know a lot about gang culture in that respect.”

Fan #1, discussing The Notebook: “What does Ryan do in that movie? Like what’s his profession?”

  • Fan #2: “I think he’s a carpenter.”
  • Fan #1: “Like Jesus? That’s so nice!”

Practicing yogi: “I think I’m going to do yoga.”

  • Easily amused friend: “I’ll watch.”

Dedicated econ student: “I fucking hate Sir Isaac Newton.”

Perplexed girl: “She should stop texting you and just watch the movie with the boy.”

  • Texter, looking out for her friend: “Or just watch the boy.”

Picky sophomore: “I like my girls to be like a jack-o-lantern…pumpkin-shaped and lit from within.”

Hungover guy at the Deli: “I accidentally tried to open a door last night using an apple.”

  • Attentive friend: “Why did you use an apple.”
  • Hungover guy: “I grabbed something that felt long and stuck it in.”

Knowledgeable professor at Wiggin St.: “If you’re in the hospital with a broken leg, ask for diacetylmorphine. It’s heroin. Trust me, that’s what you want.”

One comment

  • This one, from one guy to another outside Pierce: “Yo when I get back to Mather I’m taking a picture of the toilet. Then I’m gonna take a picture of you on the toilet.”

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