10 o’clock list: Top 5 Public Bathrooms on Campus

Tired of dragging yourself around campus, desperately seeking the best place to answer nature’s call? We’ve got you. Forget the Farr Hall bathroom and its sad, echoey hallway of doom. Forget Gund Gallery and its loud, scary automatic hand driers. Forget every injustice those other bathrooms have ever committed against you; don’t settle for anything less than the best. Check out which ones made the cut this year! [Ed. — We covered this highly newsworthy topic for the first time last February, but interestingly enough, the top 5 are completely different this time around. Bathroom beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder.]

1. Timberlake House, for “The Conceptual Plant-Feather-Quill Thing in The Corner.”

timberlake 1

This is the weirdest, best bathroom object ever. Extra points for the free-standing toilet paper holder: that’s some Restoration Hardware-status home décor right there.

2. Registrar’s Office, for “Overall Good Lighting and Promotion of Self-Esteem. Also, Brooms.”

registrar 4

Don’t be thrown by the cleaning supplies stacked up in the corner when you first walk in: you wouldn’t think so, but the Registrar bathroom is secretly home to the most flattering mirror on campus.

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Brought your Add/Drop slip in too late? Trudge in here and take a peek in the mirror to perk yourself up; the lighting is guaranteed to do wonders for your self-image.

Emma Fierce

Seriously, this mirror will make you look good.

3. 2nd-Floor Peirce, for “Lockable Capability and Proximity to Servery.”

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Why mingle with the huddled masses in the ground-floor Peirce bathroom, when just one floor above lies salvation? Not only is the light better up here, but there’s a lock, so you can cry or poop or do your hair or whatever it is you require privacy for.

4. Horn Gallery, for “Totally Rad Wall Art and Robot Door.”

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Next time you’re at a Horn show, slip down here instead of using the upstairs bathroom. In case you weren’t sold already, there’s a perplexed green robot on the door who will watch over you while you pee (but not in a weird way).

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5. 2nd-Floor Acland House, for “Most Gratuitous Bathtub.”

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Why is there a bathtub in an academic building? Why the hell not? The crappy iPhone quality of this photo makes it look at leat 60% more murder-y than it actually is; in real life, it’s actually pretty charming. But I still wouldn’t recommend bathing in it.

Honorable Mention — 2nd-Floor Horwitz House, for “Most Unnecessary, Terrifying Divider.”

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I wouldn’t actually recommend this one, so much as I would recommend fleeing from it in abject terror. Why would you possibly need a divider for a bathroom composed of one toilet and one sink? There’s something about it that gives off a real “haunted kindergarten/Catholic school” vibe; you can’t shake the feeling that two little twin girl-ghosts are about to pop their heads around the divider and invite you to come play with them. Forever.

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