10 o’ clock list: Top Reasons Why Spencer Kaye is a Catch

293935_4221358292592_1706735745_n

Here at the Thrill, we have a proud Valentine’s Day tradition of raffling off one of our fearless editors-in-chief to the lovelorn Kenyon community. Last year, it was founding editor and Thrill patriarch David McCabe — this year, it’s Bachelor #37, Spencer Ebenezer Augustus Kaye VI. We at the Thrill have each other’s backs, and we won’t rest until Spencer has celebrated V-Day with the dime piece of his dreams. [In spite of what you are about to read, Spencer is an upstanding gentleman and a great editor and he may not be Fred Flinstone, but he will make your bed rock. Not that he would ever deliver a crass pickup line like that one. Which is why we, the lady editors of the Thrill, are doing it for him.]

  1. The man can wear a thermalIt’s a chilly February in Gambier — who wouldn’t want to cuddle up against a soft, warm, possibly-purchased-in-the-GAP-ladies’-department sweater? And the guy inside it isn’t bad either. Me-ow. Are we right, ladies? 
  2. He will let you eat all the pizza. Sure, he’ll pretend he’s sick to get out of coming to your Thrill chill session, and sure, he’ll deny it when you text him saying, “Spencer, the jig is up, we know about the Zeta formal”, but eventually he’ll show up. He might sulk a little, and he might just sit there drinking one of the Keystone Lights he brought over in his backpack, but when the Papa John’s finally arrives, he will manfully bow out and let you devour the whole thing. And for this, he deserves praise. (Also, it turns out he may actually have been sick. Sorry, Spencer.)
  3. He’s man enough to possess the sole penis of The Thrill editorial staff. Spencer has no problem sitting patiently in weekly Thrill meetings while the five other female editors compare gynecological war stories and show each other photos of cute dresses on Etsy. And in return, we, the ladies of the Thrillenjoy crafting elaborate personal ads for him and putting them up on the Internet. Get at him.
  4. He knows what’s up and what’s down. And he’s willing to share. In great detail.
  5. If it doesn’t work out, he has like eighteen other brothers to choose from. It’s no secret that the Kaye boys roll deep. If you’re lucky enough to capture Spencer’s heart, you’ll be welcomed into a large and raucous family of brothers — who will do in a pinch if Spencer’s booming voice and legendary charisma aren’t quite enough. Because let’s be honest, love fades. Happy Valentine’s Day!

5 responses

  1. Best emotional supporter I know, good source of music and pop culture quotes, and always willing to share his HBOgo account login, def a catch

  2. Pingback: 10 o’clock list: Top Reasons Why Emma Specter is a Catch | The Thrill

Share your thoughts on this post.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: