We are accustomed to a certain way of life here at Kenyon College, and when things change, everyone gets a little testy–as we should! We like our sandwiches Panini pressed and we get wildly confused when Peirce tries to change things up. But the worst is when things disappear. We’ve all experienced this before: occasionally a table (or all of the tables) on New Side will be moved to some unknown location, or one of the paintings on Old Side has mysteriously disappeared. There are some things at Kenyon that just disappear like Brigadoon. Here is a list of things that fade into the Ohio mist, never to be found again.
- The Clock on New Side. Where did the real clock go? I’m not talking about the dinky little timepiece that is up right now. It’s really just some symbolism about how Kenyon is a time warp. One second you’re a Freshmen being shuffled around at Pink House at your first college party ever, and the next moment you’re a sophomore being shuffled around at Pink House at your twenty-seventh college party ever.
- The Internet. Not only do krnst-g and Kenyon Wireless seem to disappear all the time, but sometimes Wiggin Street Wireless just doesn’t exist. But what if I need the internet so I can listen to Spotify while I drink my latte and read my book?
- Your Black North Face at the Ganter. So you lost your coat in the dead of winter. Don’t worry, little one—according to Allstu, this happens to literally everyone. At least you still have your dignity, right?
- Your Friends at Old Kenyon. Even your most inescapable friend will turn into Houdini the moment they step into Old Kenyon. No matter how many times Freshman Trixie* promises Freshman Sarah* that “they won’t lose each other tonight,” all bets are off as soon as they put their coats away and walk into the sea of people. I never realized there could be an undertow when you’re walking around in a crowd, but maybe that’s where the DKE Beach Party originally got its name.
- My Left Sock. I know you’re out there, buddy. I can feel it.
*Names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.