“Housing is coming.”
As a first-year, nothing on the horizon seems so terribly daunting as the forthcoming Housing Lottery. Every other day I’ve received emails from Res Life basically telling me to get my shit together, which I obviously have not. I’ve seen friendships made and broken and lives put on the line (not really) already, all in the name of a Caples Suite. The only way I can think of to describe it is Westeros. The politics and violence of the lottery are so bad, we’re beginning to look like something George R. R. Martin wrote.
- NCAs are King’s Landing. It’s like the Iron Throne is seated inside one of the comfortable, suburban little houses. Rumor is that if you have a first-year number between one and five, you and your friends can enjoy the luxury of an NCA*. But rather than take the chance that you have any number after five, some first-years are willing to do just about anything to get their hands on one of these beauties. Sure, they have a stove, but is it really worth trying to convince Res Life that Lumberjack-themed housing is an actual reason to give one to you and your friends?
- We’re all acting like Littlefinger. As much as we love our friends, we’re all looking for a certain sort of roommate in a certain sort of dorm. And that takes a little time to figure out. So sure, I may have promised to be three peoples’ roommate by now, but those people have also promised three other people. It’s totally not just me… the Class of 2016 is a tangled mess of lies and false alliances, hoping to find the coveted spot in Bushnell.
- Mather is the Wall. I have never been inside Mather, but from what I hear, the residents may as well be fighting White Walkers. All throughout campus are the heated whispers of the unlucky sophomores who were forced into Mather against their will, and had a Night Watch-esque experience of bitter cold, bad food and forced chastity.
- To all upper-classmen, first years are all Jon Snow. I’ve found that there’s nothing that an upper-classman likes to talk about more than a first-year housing horror story. “You know nothing, Freshman Trixie,” they say with a haggard look in their eye before they limp away on a war-wounded leg (without actually answering your questions).
*Emphasis on rumor. I honestly know nothing about this.
The Kenyon Thrill 
I absolutely love this but as someone who has taken the black (well… not in front of a heart tree or anything, but I’ve said the words) I would like to emphasize the deliciousness of the food at the Wall (and all over Westeros, really, save at a Frey wedding). http://www.innatthecrossroads.com/tag/nights-watch/
haters gonna hate, mather love 4 lyfe
yee mather bullseye lives on
there’s as little forced chastity in Mather as there is on the Wall. Just gotta get down to Mole’s Town
Get a dragon and take the NCAs for yourself, girl. Claim what is rightfully yours!
aren’t NCAs not even subject to the lottery?
I think a few might be, but people are really ignorant of how they work. Freshman have a literally 0% change of getting one next year unless they’re in a theme house.
Sorry, correction to my reply: NCAs are NOT subject to the normal lottery. They have a separate lottery process which you must apply for, get approved for by ResLife, and then manage to get an NCA in the lottery (not guaranteed even if you’re approved).
You can ONLY apply for the NCA lottery if you’re a junior or senior, so unless you’re in theme housing, the freshman (rising sophomores) have no chance whatsoever of getting an NCA.
JUNIOR IN MATHER<3<3<3
It’s not even a rumor, it’s literally untrue.
NCA’s and Morgan Apartments (milks for people who don’t know a goddamn thing about your own campus) are only made available for junior and seniors who apply, as well as themed housing and housing accomodation.
Glad you posted this, it’s pissing me off that shitloads of freshman and sophomore keep going on about how they’re “trying for an NCA.”
Who is Freshman Trixie and why is he/she in yet another Thrill article?
Sincerely,
Junior Trixie
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