AllStu Revu Vol. III

this puppy is misleading (via wikipedia commons)

This puppy is misleading (via wikipedia commons)

The general bleakness and desperation of this week is symptomatic in Kenyon’s AllStu. As campus-wide exodus draws near, mass-messengers have turned to increasingly drastic measures to have their voices heard, find their lost coats and finagle rides to Port Columbus.

1. Animal-Related Misleading Subject Lines

LOST PUPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You had my attention at the eighth exclamation point. Cue up some Sarah McLachlan, I’ve got some posters to make! Send out the troops! Hold up. Your Northface? Not nearly as compelling, you liar, you.

Koalas You can’t fool me again, bud. Not this time. An earring shaped like a koala? How cute. You want me to dig through grass to find your earring? Maybe for a puppy.

2. Unreasonable Offers/Favors

do YOU want to be loved forever? Have you been on my match.com profile? Unconditional love, for the price of one set of lost keys, how refreshing.

I WILL GIVE YOU FREE HAIRCUTS FOR A YEAR. Nah, I’m completely content with Cost Cutters/Clippers.

3. Increasingly Desperate Pleas For Rides (least to most compelling)

airport ride wednesday afternoon

Taxi Sharing?

Ride to airport Friday 3/1?

airport ride–Friday 9 AM?

Airport Ride Wednesday at Noon? Pretty Please?

HELP! DESPERATE FOR AIRPORT RIDE TOMORROW AT NOON!

Call me Sherlock—I have a hunch some of these are from the same person! Look at that punctuation! The emphasis! The pathos!

6 responses

      • I’ve got a 3×4 finger box for sale, made from spruce with an X-wing painted on one side and a TiE Fighter on the other.

      • Hiya, love this theme it is beautiful and easy to use (when I open my eyes lol) and I love it.Forgive me if this is a gumby quotsien, I’m still (relatively) new at this. I’d like to put the contact form into the bottom text of the presentation page where I’ve got phone me, email me.. I’d like to put or contact me via the below form . Unfortunately my contact form is a widget and when I tried to paste the HTML for that into the bottom text box it just pasted the contact form code I’d also like to put the widget for the blog posts in there too, maybe.I like keeping the bottom footers of the theme clean and easy to see, for branding purposes, else I’d just install the widgets there, but they’d fit so much more nicely in the text box.Again, forgive me if this is a really dumb quotsien.

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