Overheard At Kenyon, Vol. Something

They tell you not to post your incriminating conversations online, but did you know the dumb shit you say isn’t safe around campus either? The Thrill is always listening.  Below, you’ll find a selection of our favorites from the past few weeks — as always, if you spot one of your own contributions in here, copyright-infringement subpoenas can be sent to thekenyonthrill@gmail.com.

Flirtin’ Fiend in Wiggle Ground, shaking hips — “You want it!”

  • Unenthusiastic Guy, backing away — “I’m indifferent to it.”

Athletics/Diversity Enthusiast in LoGund — “So, the swim team won the NAACP championship?”

  • Surrounding friends, staring – *Silence*
  • Athletics/Diversity Enthusiast — “Shit. That’s not right, is it.”

Realist in KAC Study Lounge — “Dude, I can’t just get high and ride bikes all the time.” [Ed. — Too bad for you, KAC Realist, because that’s Kenyon in a nutshell.]

Enthusiastic Sophomore — “I think I’m going to volunteer with at-risk youth this summer.”

  • Buzz-Harshin’ Junior — “… More than anyone else I know, you are an at-risk youth.”

Budding Music Critic in Peirce Pub — “Country songs always put the whole song in the title. It’s always, like, “And Then My Father Beat Me With A Shovel And Shoved Me In The Trunk, Ooh-Ooh.”

Unabashed Self-Romancer in Caples — “I mean, if my roommate’s gone, I’m going to masturbate. It’s not even a question of whether I want to, really. That’s just how it works.”

Ginormous Athlete #1, exiting Ascension — “No, dude, that’s wrong. That’s just wrong.”

  • Ginormous Athlete #2, agreeing — “You cannot just bite into string cheese. That’s, like, String Cheese 101.”
  • Ginormous Athlete #3, defensively — “No! You don’t have to peel string cheese before you eat it! It’s just… rule!”

Overly Excited Girl in Gund Ballroom, gesturing to laptop — “THE FLAMING CHALICE!”

  • Clearly Mortified Friend, in reply — “You don’t realize this because you have your headphones on, but you just screamed ‘THE FLAMING CHALICE!’ to all of Gund.”

Wizard-Curious Gentleman in Servery on Harry Potter Day — “Nobody overtly bones in “Harry Potter”, right? Like, no HP HJs?”

3 responses

  1. “I don’t ever remember saying ‘string cheese 101′” – ginormous athlete waiting for his Dante class in Ascension.

  2. Pingback: Old Version of CGE Advice Booklet Accidentally Distributed | The Thrill

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