How to Be a Grown-Up: Apologizing for Missing Class

...Bueller? ...Bueller? ...Anyone?

…Bueller? …Bueller? …Anyone?

I should preface this post by saying that if you’re a real grown-up, this information is useless to you because you wouldn’t miss class unless you’d just sustained a massive head wound or something equally dire. However, if you subscribe to my brand of adulthood (i.e. loudly proclaiming “I’M AN ADULT! I CAN VOTE! I CAN GO TO WAR!” and then falling asleep on a pile of warm laundry and missing your 1:10), this guide to the ins and outs of accidentally — or “accidentally” — skipping class may be of use to you.

  • First, miss class. If you need tips on how to do this, I can’t help you and you shouldn’t be reading this and goodnight and good luck. 
  •  As soon as possible after missing class, begin drafting your apology email. (If it’s a premeditated absence, email the professor before you’ve actually missed class to let them know you won’t be there.)
  • The apology email is tough to get right — even if you have a valid reason for being absent, professors have heard it all before, so keep it short and sweet. (A friend of mine claims that dropping “The D-Bomb” — a mention of either “stomach trouble” or outright “diarrhea” —  makes professors  uncomfortable enough to forget the whole thing, but that’s a high risk/high reward strategy).
  • Here’s a template I’ve found success with — “Dear Professor X, I’m so sorry for missing your class this morning. I overslept/lost track of time/insert your own v. brief explanation, and I just wanted to apologize for my poor planning. I’ll get the notes from a classmate, and I won’t let this happen again. Thank you so much, and again, I’m sorry, – Emma.” (Always end the email with “Emma”, even if your name isn’t Emma.)
  • The best possible thing you can do after missing class is send an apology email immediately, and then follow it up with an office-hours visit to make it clear just how sorry you are. Just don’t overstay your welcome, because professors don’t want to hear a monologue about how your bronchitis has been acting up so you’ve been taking NyQuil and you mixed up the kid/adult dose and that’s why you overslept and you’ve just been so tired lately.
  • These tips may seem self-explanatory, but if you’re a novice to the world of truancy, it’s important to get the apology right. You don’t want your professor to think you’re just some lazy garbage can of a human being who can’t be bothered to a) show up to class or b) apologize after the fact. (Even if that is, in fact, exactly who you are.)

16 responses

  1. There IS no right way to apologize for “missing class.” So don’t bother. In fact, the faculty has decided on a Zero-Tolerance Policy effective tomorrow. You will all be fitted for electronic ankle bracelets at breakfast tomorrow, while you are too sleepy to resist. Bwahahaha! — A Prof

  2. Pingback: Minimum Requirements For “A Day” | The Thrill

  3. I can’t sleep until 5 or 6 oclock is that a reason for missing classes?
    I pass the exams but I can’t get classes
    what would you recommend me?
    Thank you

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