I should preface this post by saying that if you’re a real grown-up, this information is useless to you because you wouldn’t miss class unless you’d just sustained a massive head wound or something equally dire. However, if you subscribe to my brand of adulthood (i.e. loudly proclaiming “I’M AN ADULT! I CAN VOTE! I CAN GO TO WAR!” and then falling asleep on a pile of warm laundry and missing your 1:10), this guide to the ins and outs of accidentally — or “accidentally” — skipping class may be of use to you.
- First, miss class. If you need tips on how to do this, I can’t help you and you shouldn’t be reading this and goodnight and good luck.
- As soon as possible after missing class, begin drafting your apology email. (If it’s a premeditated absence, email the professor before you’ve actually missed class to let them know you won’t be there.)
- The apology email is tough to get right — even if you have a valid reason for being absent, professors have heard it all before, so keep it short and sweet. (A friend of mine claims that dropping “The D-Bomb” — a mention of either “stomach trouble” or outright “diarrhea” — makes professors uncomfortable enough to forget the whole thing, but that’s a high risk/high reward strategy).
- Here’s a template I’ve found success with — “Dear Professor X, I’m so sorry for missing your class this morning. I overslept/lost track of time/insert your own v. brief explanation, and I just wanted to apologize for my poor planning. I’ll get the notes from a classmate, and I won’t let this happen again. Thank you so much, and again, I’m sorry, – Emma.” (Always end the email with “Emma”, even if your name isn’t Emma.)
- The best possible thing you can do after missing class is send an apology email immediately, and then follow it up with an office-hours visit to make it clear just how sorry you are. Just don’t overstay your welcome, because professors don’t want to hear a monologue about how your bronchitis has been acting up so you’ve been taking NyQuil and you mixed up the kid/adult dose and that’s why you overslept and you’ve just been so tired lately.
- These tips may seem self-explanatory, but if you’re a novice to the world of truancy, it’s important to get the apology right. You don’t want your professor to think you’re just some lazy garbage can of a human being who can’t be bothered to a) show up to class or b) apologize after the fact. (Even if that is, in fact, exactly who you are.)