The end of an era has arrived: it’s time to say sayonara to the Nuge. But before we pull out the welcome wagon for D-Cat, let’s take a look back at his competition. Check out a few of the less obvious candidates that got the boot:
- Donald Trump. Despite Big D’s attempts to convince the trustees that Kenyon’s policies need some “combing over,” he was rejected by the search committee at the last minute.
- The One-Armed Stripper at the Foxhole. Her hands-off approach didn’t quite fit Kenyon’s liberal arts ideals.
- Josh Radnor. Turns out that Rad-cheeks is a little busy making his next film, a horror movie entitled The Housing Lottery.
- Ex-Pope Benedict. Supposedly Benny-boy dropped out of the race early to pursue new horizons. Rumor has it that he’s one bangin’ hat model.
- Nicolas Cage. After the administration convinced Cage that there really isn’t a treasure buried under Middle Path, he became disinterested and Radnor nabbed him for the starring role of The Housing Lottery.