10 o’clock list: Five Candidates that Were Overlooked for the Kenyon Presidency

radnor and cage

It was a heated competition…

The end of an era has arrived: it’s time to say sayonara to the Nuge. But before we pull out the welcome wagon for D-Cat, let’s take a look back at his competition. Check out a few of the less obvious candidates that got the boot:

  1. Donald Trump. Despite Big D’s attempts to convince the trustees that Kenyon’s policies need some “combing over,” he was rejected by the search committee at the last minute.
  2. The One-Armed Stripper at the Foxhole. Her hands-off approach didn’t quite fit Kenyon’s liberal arts ideals.
  3. Josh Radnor. Turns out that Rad-cheeks is a little busy making his next film, a horror movie entitled The Housing Lottery.
  4. Ex-Pope Benedict. Supposedly Benny-boy dropped out of the race early to pursue new horizons. Rumor has it that he’s one bangin’ hat model.
  5. Nicolas Cage. After the administration convinced Cage that there really isn’t a treasure buried under Middle Path, he became disinterested and Radnor nabbed him for the starring role of The Housing Lottery.

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