Overheard at Kenyon: What If We Were All Worms?

via riverfronttimes.com

via riverfronttimes.com

With the warm weather these past couple days, we are losing our marbles as our brains slowly begin to melt. Even in these warm times, the Thrill is always listening, so be careful where your marbles roll. As always, feel free to claim a quote in the comments.

Unenlightened Writer: “I want to be pen pals with a prisoner on death row. I think it would be enlightening.”

A Kenyon Student: “If I don’t get a job, I’ll be going to Madagascar this summer.”

Professor: “We will start with lofty goals and then see what happens.”

Perceptive Guy #1: “She’s always down to get fucked up.”

  • Perceptive Guy #2: “And I’m always down to get fucked up too. So what’s the problem?”

Caring Senior: “The reason you go with her to get plan B is to make sure the girl takes it.”

Junior Guy: “She’s the girl you just met.”

  • Confused Sophomore: “Do you know who she fucked?”

The Boy Next Door (re: girl in the bathroom): “She’s got a butt hole. So does everyone. Get out of here.”

Omelet Line Member: “I wasn’t wearing any clothing. How did you not notice me?”

Medicated Student #1: “I feel like bonding over medication is such a big thing at Kenyon.”

  • Medicated Student #2: “Yeah, totally, like we’re medication buddies right?”
  • Medicated Student #1: “Are we? I’m on Lexapro.”
  • Medicated Student #3: “Me too!”
  • Screaming from all three.

Delicate Sophomore Girl: “I was just a really cute kid. I was just really nice and happy all the time. I had a temper tantrum once because my sister had a down pillow and I didn’t.”

Frustrated Junior: “You have a DFMO and then you see them again and you’re like ‘Oh, let’s do that again?’ And then you’re in a relationship.”

Professor: “There are so many inappropriate things I could say right now, like, I can’t even.”

  • Student: “Before the end of the year, we should get drunk together, Professor, and have a heart to heart.”
  • Professor: “There are still so many inappropriate things I could say.”

Evil Roommate in Wiggin St.: “Sorry I’m late. I had to stop at the bookstore to buy super glue to glue your eyes shut while you sleep.”

Anonymous Thrill editor: “What kind of blog do you think we would run if we were all worms?”

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