A Kenyon Horror Story

Kenyon is known for many things. A fabulous writing program, an unbelievable athletic center and a campus so haunted that mediums run away screaming. Horror is an every day part of Kenyon life. Read on for a real-life horror story that has been floating around campus.

So you picked Option Room, too?

Johnny McGovern* ’14 got out of his 10:10 fifteen minutes late. His econ professor kept droning on and on while Johnny’s stomach grumbled with a passion. As soon as he made it out of that hellhole, he power walked straight to Peirce. After filling a plate with a delicious, Panini-pressed wrap, a hearty pile of steamed carrots and a pudding cup, he made his way to the Coke machine near the salad bar. Having to jimmy a cup out of the bin, he walked to the machine with delight. The promise of liquid ambrosia known as Cherry Coke had propelled him out of bed, got him to class, and helped him sit through an hour of graphs and numbers. And now, it was finally time.

Little did they know, their quest should have brought them to Peirce.

Johnny waited for an exhausted first-year to get her ginger ale, then made his way to the machine, cup in one hand, plate in the other. He pressed his glass to the ice dispenser lever and…

NOTHING.

Nada, no ice. Nothing at all.

Facing this guy would have been a better situation.

Johnny was in shock—he was completely aghast. How could he enjoy a delicious Cherry Coke without ice? A lukewarm beverage was not what he signed up for. Now, to get ice, he would have to go to the Coke machine by International. But did they even have Cherry Coke over there?

Dejected, Johnny got watery orange juice, and a scar that would live with him until the end of his days.

*Name has been changed to protect the innocent victim.

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