How to Be a Grown-Up: Remember Things


Yesterday, I probably did the most forgetful, and impossibly stupid thing I have ever done; I forgot about a paper.  Seriously.  I straight up forgot about it.  There I was walking down Middle Path jolly as a giant and I saw my Professor from the class I was headed to and waved.  As my hand made slow motions back and forth, a realization began to wash over me.  At first it was just misting, soon though it grew to monsoon proportions.  “I have a paper due in 10 minutes.” (Full disclosure: This was a real paper, as in 5-8 pages, not a reading response.)  I mean, I can procrastinate with the best of them, but this would be impossible.  After 5 minutes of sobbing, 2 minutes of frantic planning and 1 minute of explaining, I was given a merciful extension. So from one forgetful person, to an army of them, this is “How to Remember Things.”

  • Email it to yourself.  I am trying to go paperless these days because I am a *good* person.  Unlike you. Obligatory link.
  •  Talk more with that smart kid that sits next to you.  They will definitely remind you multiple times that you have a paper due.  They say “Hey, how’s the paper going,” (what they really mean is “I’m better than you,” but that’s beside the point). To which you respond “Great!” (what you really think is “shit!” but at least you know now).
  • Do it early! Just kidding.
  • Write it on your hand. This has to be the easiest, no one wants unsightly hand-grafitti on them.  Then again, Kenyon students seem to have no shame about leaving the ‘x’ on their hand well into Wednesday.
  • Tattoo it on your hand. A little extreme, but then again, so is my forgetfulness.

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