Ever wanted to insult someone and been at a loss for words? It happens all the time for me. So here at The Thrill we have decided to start working on some Kenyon-specific insults to hurl at your classmates (when you aren’t being the idyllic student-body that is portrayed in our pamphlets). Check some out after the jump.
You are like the person version of Watson.
You’re around less than the Nuge. (Double Burn)
You are more closed-off than the Health Center on weekends.
This sexual experience was more disappointing than Peirce on a Saturday at 1:15.
You’re dirtier than the Cove floor at closing time on a Saturday. (Scorched)
Hanging out with you feels like I’m being summer-housed.
You’ve got less to show off downstairs than Peirce. (Burn)
You’re more poorly put-together than an NCA.
You smell like an Old Kenyon stairwell … on a weekend.
Your thesis reads like it was written at Wiggin Street Elementary. (Senior Burn!)
Taking comps was more enjoyable than our last coffee date. (Again!)
The Kenyon Thrill 
WATSON 4 EVER
U PROUD?! THEN SHOW YOUR FACE, COWARD!
WATSON 5 EVER
Your hands are as clammy as a New Apt.
That is maybe just more of a Kenyon-specific metaphor, though.
Kenyon-specific simile* ;p
SENIOR BURN
ncas arent poorly put together, old apts are
NCAs will be like the New Apts in about 5 years. They’ve been slapped together in no time and are already showing signs of wear. Bad news bears.