How To Be A Person: Mailing a Package


Apparently, college students don’t know how to send a package. I can’t believe I have to do this, but here it goes.

  1. Buy a box. You can get them at the bookstore, where the school supplies are, or at the post office.
  2. Put your shit in it.
  3. Seal the box with strong tape, such as duct tape. If you use masking tape, it will open somewhere between here and Minneapolis and end up lying in the back of a mail truck in pieces for weeks.
  4. On the box, write the address of the person that you are sending it to.
  5. Write your return address in the upper left hand corner.
  6. Go to the post office.
  7. Tell the person at the counter that you need to send a package. They will take it, weigh it, and charge you for shipping costs. They do not accept K-Cards at the post office, so bring some other form of money.

Note: If you need to send it via UPS, you drop the package off downstairs at the bookstore, with shipping labels already applied.


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