We’re almost homeward bound. Did you finish the year with a splash?

The week before finals week was bound to be a stressful one. Take a study break while we examine last week’s crises.

1)    The Internet went down. So did my life. First it was isolation and denial: “No, it can’t be down. Everybody else is still studying. Omigod it’s just me.” Then it was anger. And growling. Then it was bargaining. “Maybe I can get on Facebook from Kenyon’s homepage. NO? Kenyon.efff.u!!” Then it was a deep sadness, in which I simultaneously tried to reload Netflix, Facebook, and Gmail for a half-hour. Finally, acceptance: “Well… I guess I can go talk to people…I guess.”

2)    Studying Outside is Dangerous. If nature has a personal vendetta against you too, you’ll understand why squawking is a necessary part of repelling ladybugs.

3)    Omigod Packing. Stop whining. Boxes are passé. Get yourself some bubble wrap, some duct tape, and some alpacas. Try to keep a handle on your swag.

4)    Finals Stress. In some languages this phrase translates directly to “cookie-dough.”

5)    The Last Weekend Happened. Well, McFratty, hope you finished off that natty because this weekend was the last hurrah.