My first thought (okay, prayer) when I saw this email entitled “Campus Weed Control” was that Kenyon was checking up on our herbal consumption, but in a “cool, fun way” that would “really relate to the kids these days, with their drugs.” I desperately wanted this email to be from Guidance Counselor Jeff Rosso, reminding us that it’s okay to experiment.
Unfortunately, it was just an email about lawn care.
It’s still fun to read it as a plea from the administration, though — “The weeds on campus have gone above the acceptable level and thus require treatment.” OH, THE WEEDS! STOP SMOKING THE WEEDS! WE BEG OF YOU! WE CAN’T LISTEN TO YOU TALK ABOUT HOW “HEY ARNOLD TOTALLY WASN’T A KID’S SHOW, MAN” ANYMORE!