Kenyon Dictionary, Vol. 2

You may have noticed a dictionary of common Kenyon slang on the back page of your Collegian Orientation issue. Since that space wasn’t nearly enough to define all the creative and rich terms you’ll hear around campus, here are some additional words and phrases that might come in handy. Look out for an additional definitions list later today or tomorrow.

  • ’Burbs, the, n. Also called “NCAs.” This is a nickname for the North Campus Apartments.
  • Comps, n. Short for “comprehensive exams.” What each senior has to complete to graduate with a degree in his or her major.

  • Doc Locke, n. The nickname for universally loved Professor of Music Benjamin Locke. You’ll meet him during First-Year Sing. Feel free to call him Doc; everyone does.
  • Ex·ten·do, n. The weird chunk of time in between lunch and dinner when Peirce is still open, but not serving any hot meals. One can find leftovers, cereal, fruit and bagels to munch on until dinner.
  • Hall·cest, n. When members of the same hall hook up. It’s convenient at first, but hall dinners might get a little awkward.
  • Ken·yon Pur·ple Per·son, n. A creepy person dressed in head -to-foot purple and skintight spandex who runs around campus at various points throughout the year in an effort to promote Kenyon pride. He/she appears without warning and disappears just as mysteriously, often leaving a stream of terrified students in its wake.
  • Nuge, the, n. The nickname for recently departed Kenyon President S. Georgia Nugent.
  • Peeps, n. The Peeps O’ Kenyon, a co-ed society. Some speculate their name is an acronym for “People who Experiment with Every Possible Substance.” Make of that what you will.
  • Smather, n. Samuel Mather Hall, located in the Science Quad (see: Squad), home of the psychology and neuroscience departments and next to the angel statues in front of Rosse. Called “Smather” instead of “Mather” to avoid confusion with the Mather dorm.

18 responses

  1. It is a myth that you can graduate with a liberal arts degree if you fail comps. They make you do them over again. In the summer. DO NOT FAIL COMPS. HEED MY ADVICE, YOUNG FRIENDS.

  2. This isn’t journalism. Is not discovering the meanings of these terms part of the Kenyon experience. Just as commenting like this is. For shame. For shame.

    • Was that for me or for The Thrill? Because I totally agree with you! They must stumble upon the nickname of that weird pink house like so many drunk frosh before them. But if this is for me, I wanted to clear up this misconception before people flutter out into the mist with zany ideas.

  3. As the current President of the Peeps Alumni Association, I can say that, over the years, I have experimented with a great many substances. You might be interested to hear a few of the results:

    Tar — hot, messy
    Windex — glass cleared admirably, slight lingering scent of ammonia
    Ectoplasm — my hair turned completely white overnight.
    Cherry compote — mmmmm, pie.
    Gasoline — never better than 45 mpg
    Sulphuric Acid — learned an important lesson, and moved on
    Lysergic Acid — learned an important lesson: mmmmm, pie.
    Paper — astonishingly versatile medium for retention of ink and assembly into symbol-heavy, language-based codices; limited usefulness underwater
    Coffee — determined best use when ground into fine powder, fire and wind tests so far yield negligible results; perhaps boiling water may unlock certain properties. will let you you.

    Very truly,

    Joe Gioia ’77

    • Love it Joe. Well I just don’t know if folks now a days could handle the truth about the Peeps from back in the day. So we’ll just leave the list you have as being one of many we Peeps have experimented with.

  4. PEEPS actually stands for People Experiencing Experimental People Sensuously (that’s five all five senses, get your minds out of the gutter kids).

    Experimental People I have sensuously experienced

    Alexis Pace: Texture: Silky, like a seal pup. Smell: vinyl car seat baking on a hot day. Taste: ring pop, cherry Sounded Like: rods burning rubber Looks like: Heaven burning.

    Joe Gioia: Texture: clammy. Smell: Piney. Taste: Flavorless, in a creepy way. Sounds like: A door, slamming shut. Looks like: An endless hallway.

    Chris Bench: Texture: Japanese bondage tape. Smell: flop sweat. Taste: chinese food, about to turn. Sounds like: A dog, barking, three miles away. Looks like: An empty rocking chair, moving.

    Clare Tessman: Texture: Pudding. Smell: pop rocks. Taste: The coke you aren’t supposed to drink after eating Pop Rocks. Sounds like: Screaming Bieber fans. Looks Like: A hawk, circling above an empty desert.

    Kyle Henderson. Texture: tweed. Smells Like: new plastic. Taste: The thing you bite down on when they take your X-ray at the dentist. Sounds like: the laugh of a clown, chasing you. Looks like: a faucet, dripping.

    • Jamie Gump: Texture: Nails on Chalkboard. Smell: hot breath Taste: artisan birch beer sounds like: the whimper of a million dashed dreams Looks like: victory

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