Coming back to Kenyon, you never realize how much you forget about this tiny hillside hamlet over the summer. Unfortunately the little things hit you like a ton of bricks upon your triumphant arrival. While this list won’t be able to help you get over the shock of actually running into these realizations, it’s comforting to know that you aren’t alone.
- People hog the cream cheese (the butter too): There are savvy Peirce users, there are general Peirce users and then there are these creatures. If any of the students that do this are reading this listen up: “STOP. IT IS ANNOYING. IT IS RUDE. DON’T.”
- First-years don’t know you and you sure as hell don’t know them: Campus changes a lot from semester to semester, so no surprise you no longer know 1/4th of Kenyon’s student body. Somehow though, we all forget that we get around 500 new potential friends, enemies and DFMOs a year.
- The printer in Sam Mather lab is generally out of order: This is probably not the best place for you to go when you have to print out that reading that you totally did already. Saying that you disagreed with the author’s premise entirely is probably a safer play (well that and saying nothing and not making eye-contact).
- Campus Safety is still not amused by you or your shit: Surprisingly, Campus Safety is still tired of you making a ruckus and generally making their lives harder. My suggestion? Double down and just make it memorable.*
- Class is a real thing (and you are obligated to go**): Kenyon is not one of the cheapest schools in the country and despite what you might think, you are here for the classes. So buckle up because it’s time to study.
*Please don’t actually do this.
**Most of the time.