How to Order Drinks at the VI Like a Boss

This isn't the VI.

This isn’t the VI.

The first Kenyon Wednesday is upon us again. On future Wednesdays (and other more weekend-y days) there may come a time when you’re of age with money to spend and a insatiable desire to get your drink on at the classiest joint in town, the Village Inn. Whether you consider yourself a VI veteran or you’ve never been before, there is essential etiquette. You can go out and break these rules, but your bar karma will eventually catch up to you, embarrassingly.

For the betterment of all, I’ve outlined the most important elements of VI etiquette below.

“Don’t be a douche.” A friendly VI patron gave me this tidbit, which speaks for itself but it nonetheless worth reiterating. Bartenders are people too. When you come to any bar, you’re putting the trajectory of your night in their hands. Why risk that by acting rudely?

Don’t stand at the end of the bar and expect service. This blocks the waiters who try to get in and out of the bar as quickly as possible. If you do this, the bartender is not going to drop what they’re doing to serve you, you’ll just be ignored.

Come prepared with your order. Brandy, a former VI fixture and bartender, texted this to the bartender I spoke with while I was there:

“Don’t ask for dumb, high maintenance shit when the bartender is swamped…you spoiled brats.”

The VI serves a lot of beer, so when you come in and interrupt a bartender’s flow with your 11-part cocktail, you’re part of the problem. Know what you want, and keep it as simple as possible.

TIP. Seriously guys (and ladies), this can’t be stressed enough. Those of you who worked in restaurants already know this and tip accordingly. Spread the word.

Tipping well is how you build a relationship with your bartender (Nate works Wednesday to Saturday). You’ll get good service. Equally as important, your friends will respect you for being a good person person.

Order the Babymaker. This one comes bartender approved: citrus vodka, lime juice, agave (a honey-like nectar) and water. Side effects include: hooking up with your slam piece and feelings of awesomeness.

11 responses

  1. Has it really been since 2002 since I last slung booze at The VI? And six years since I left the Cove? Have a good time kids, or the still living revenants of the VI will straighten you out! Brandy, this next one’s for you…

  2. Also, if you’re ordering for more than one person, know everyone’s order before you get the bartender’s attention. If you break eye contact with the bartender to ask what someone wants, all your drinks just went to the end of the line.

  3. I call bullshit on part of this. The VI wants to be the “high-class” bar versus the cove. Therefore, bartenders complaining about (and yes, I have had them complain to me) making a simple drink as an Old-Fashioned should quit their job. If making a simple cocktail is too much work, don’t get a job as a bartender. Go work somewhere that only serves beer.

  4. When I was on campus it was always difficult to order . nice to see it hasn’t changed ;) – “upscale” well I guess that gets a maybe from me but I haven’t been there in a while .
    But ,not for nothing – the original cove was an awesome alternative when the VI bar was too crowded . salad pizza and a cheeseburger sub made the night complete

  5. truth on the tipping thing. 25% buys you better, quicker, more gracious service and even the occasional buy-back. And if that sounds like a lot remember you’re in central Ohio and that PBR cost a dollar, you cheap fuck.

  6. I ordered an Old-Fashioned at a quiet early evening moment last spring when the place was half empty and was told the bartender had never heard of this drink. He was willing to try and he made a drink based on my ingredient list that was vaguely in the ballpark, but seriously? A bar that aspires to being more than a college dive cannot be bothered to know how to make classic non-foofy cocktails?

  7. Wow. This was all quite entertaining…For the record..the reason (some) bartenders bitch (definitely me), moan & complain about making certain “classic” or “high maintenence” drinks is because some college students don’t tip according to the time & effort that goes into making such drinks. So if a bar is slammed…& the bartender sees ‘Joe’ -simple order, trouble free, tips well…..& TraShaynay…who wants “something pink, something purple & doesn’t taste like alcohol…5% tip, if you’re lucky….hmmm…what to do..what to do……..If even a small percentage of Kenyon students (like more than 3%) had ever worked at a job like the rest of us blue-collar, down-trodden, losers….they might think twice about how hard the staff works at the VI & quit whining so much about the surly manner in which they’re treated. Grow up. It’s a bar. We get it..bartenders are supposed to make all the concoctions w/a big fat smile plastered to their faces. (like TGI Fridays !! :))…Quit bartending..?.possibly…or try working at a bar where people there’s an idea…(why didn’t I think of that ?….oh wait…)….
    Peace, from the Atlantic (where jack ass bartenders now serve me-I love these surly assholes)
    P.S. I actually miss some of you…not very many…but some of you
    XoXo B.___

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