Well, my friends. The school year has now set in. Syllabus week is long over. Work is here. The weather is no longer welcoming and we have officially begun the era of D-Cat. While I am extremely excited to begin this new period of Kenyon’s history, especially because D-Cat has been so active with The Thrill, I still occasionally feel the need to look back into our not so distant past. While sitting on Middle Path yesterday, studiously reading, I saw a flash of what I can say with almost complete certainty was the distinctive glimmer of purple sequins. This recent vision caused me to wax nostalgic about the Nuge’s reign and led to me ponder, what exactly is the Nuge doing right now? We know about her recent DOJ investigation, but what else is going on in her life? I have a few thoughts.
1. Turning the tunnel she has that goes from Gambier to New York into a strange, themed nightclub: This one may seem a bit far fetched, but the Nuge’s tunnel transport system is a real thing. Now that she no longer needs to travel back and forth she obviously has to do something with the elaborate tunnel system. Therefore, it is quite clear that the tunnel is now serving as an underground club for the Nuge and all her friends.
2. Globe-trotting: This one may a bit obvious but I can only assume that the Nuge, now free of her Kenyon responsibilities, is relishing in her free time and going on elaborate road trips. The world is her oyster. She is clearly taking advantage. Also she clearly knows that Nugespotting is still a thing. Game on.
3. Writing an in-depth style guide: The Nuge was known around campus for her daring style. In the odd depths of my imagination, I see the Nuge sitting in a way too chic cafe in Soho with Rachel Zoe discussing the new trends for spring. “You can totally wear purple Uggs year round!” It’s a weird picture, but intriguing all the same.
4. Terrorizing Princeton: It would have been out of the question if she had done so during her time as a professor, and doing so as president of Kenyon might have been interpreted as harassment. Now, she can just say she got confused and thought she was protesting Halloween.
5. Hanging Around Kenyon: It would only make sense that once her time at Kenyon in an official capacity was over, the Nuge would start to hang around Gambier. Is that her buying hummus at the Market? I’m pretty sure I saw her beasting on the treadmill at the KAC. Welcome to Gambier, the Nuge. We hope you like it here.