Homecoming is here, the highlighter party is tonight, and school spirit is in the air. At least I think that’s what I’m smelling. Sometimes when the wind is blowing the right way, I could swear it’s manure. Oh well. Anyway, here’s a drink to get you pumped with Kenyon pride and going for the homecoming stuff today:

For when you can’t summon up the energy to feel pride yourself, alcohol is there for you.

-2 shots of whiskey

-Something purple, it doesn’t matter what. Could be anything. Grape soda, really dark wine, as long as it’s purple.

-Goldschlager, just the flakes though. The rest of the alcohol is optional. This should be replaced with ink from a highlighter pen if you’re getting ready for the Zeta party. (Note: don’t actually drink highlighter ink.)

-Fill to taste with Sprite. Clear is kind of close to white as far as colors go, right?

-For added effect, use this to gargle “Kokosing Farewell” to yourself before chugging it down.

Well, if that doesn’t fill you up with Kenyon pride, and little buzz to go along with it; you are probably dead inside. You should probably talk to someone about that, you unfeeling monster.